I have sat down several times in the past few weeks to write here, and I have hesitated and left with the screen completely blank. It’s not that I don’t have anything to tell you, it’s that I feel like it’s not interesting enough. Like writing here and telling you that things aren’t wrong, that in fact, everything is so very right, is not what people come to read.

I am happy. Indescribably happy. Possibly as happy as I have ever been in my life.

Yes, each morning I fight with nausea that can only be controlled with medication, even now at almost 22 weeks of pregnancy. Yes, I have headaches every day, some of which slow me down considerably, all of which are really unpleasant. My physical state is perhaps not perfect and it never will be, but my emotional and mental states are so entirely over-filled with happiness that the rest seems to melt away.

I feel whole, like I am in exactly the place I am meant to be in my life. I feel like my marriage is in such a wonderful place, like the family we are building is exactly as I always dreamed it would be. I have wanted to be a mother for so long, and for this dream to finally come true is overwhelming and a little surreal. I didn’t know that I would be able to have a child, I didn’t know how my body would react. And that I can sit here at nearly 22 weeks and tell you how wonderful everything is, feels like too much. Too much good.

Feeling the baby kick each night before bed has become one of my greatest joys in life. I’m growing a child, a beautiful little boy and this fact never fails to completely boggle my mind. We made this baby, And each time he kicks is a reminder of the partnership we have. We are connected, not just he and I, but my husband too. Connected in this intimate way that no one else can understand. Yes, you can feel and sometimes even see the baby kick from the outside now, but what I feel, the connection I have with my child is so much more.

I’ve come to realize that he nourishes me every bit as much as I nourish him.

I know that in four short months, my life is going to change forever. But I also know that in the past 6 months, it already has. I will never again be the person I was before August, before this baby. He has changed me, changed the course of my life in every way possible.

And for him, for the family that my husband and I are building each day, I am grateful. I am happy.

Tonight we did something I don’t think we’ve done since we lived in New Orleans- we had friends over for dinner. I know that sounds so sad and anti-social, but well, we’re sad and anti-social. The only people who have been in our current apartment (that we moved into in late June) are my parents and my husband’s parents and us. Seriously, that’s it. Okay fine, the lady that fed our cats and one of my husband’s friends once for an hour, but that’s really it.

So tonight we changed that.

One of my husband’s coworkers and her husband and their 10 month old daughter came over for dinner. They live pretty close and are super fun people, so we were happy to have them. I cooked a big dinner (chicken, macaroni and cheese, salad and apple/cranberry cobbler) and we sat around our table and had a great time. The baby had an especially fun time pulling all the bottles of wine out of our wine rack and ruining my husband’s pattern, it was awesome. It turns out our house is just not really baby friendly, but she didn’t get hurt, nor did she get to drink any wine, so we’ll call it a win.

Our anti-social behavior has had one major side effect though. My cat. He doesn’t like other people. He is absolutely as sugar sweet as he could be when it’s just us. He snuggles, he purrs, he is just the best cat. But when people come over, he loses himself. He hisses and spits, he usually stays on the landing of the stairs and watches, coming down periodically to hiss and remind us that he is unhappy.

He doesn’t seem to be protecting us (or if he is, he’s terrible at it), and sometimes he’ll rub against a person’s leg, while hissing. I think he doesn’t even know how he really feels but he knows he is uncomfortable. He let the baby pet his head once before hissing and running away, so maybe that’s a good sign. He better get used to that stuff real quick.

Most of all it was just nice to have adult conversations with people who are in the same stage of their life as we are. I get to talk on the internet to people all day, but the act of conversing in person is irreplaceable. This couple knows what we’re going through with residency and pregnancy and they have a great sense of humor. They gave us good advice about the first year of having a baby and even helped my husband move a table in anticipation of the upcoming office/nursery furniture moving festival. It was really great.

And they even got us to clean our apartment, which, let’s face it, does not happen often. In fact, I’m seriously thinking that we may need to have friends over more, just so that our apartment stays at least something close to its current state of cleanliness. That’s the adult thing to do, I’m pretty sure.

So we’re home after a weekend of celebrating winter holidays. It was a really nice weekend, but I’m not going to lie, it is also really nice to be home.

On Friday we went to my in-laws and had a lovely Chanukah dinner. It was really good food (latkes!), overall nice conversation and it was great fun to watch our nieces open their presents. Granted, it made us feel like absolute crap that my SIL’s best friend came and brought each niece at least 10 presents while we only bought them 1 a piece. At least the girls were happy. We were extremely fortunate that in addition to wonderful gifts, we received a huge Rubbermaid container of toys and books my SIL is handing down to us.

Saturday we drove to my hometown where we had Christmas Eve dinner with my dad’s side of the family. We did something a little different this year and it mimics what we do at my mom’s family. Instead of buying everyone a present, which is difficult when you don’t see these family members more than 2 or 3 times a year, we did a name draw, so you only buy one present (and then we all bought one for my grandma) for your assigned person.

The fine print of the name draw is that the presents have a 50 dollar limit so that everyone gets relatively equal presents, though occasionally people spend a little more when it’s something special. It was largely successful save for the part where everyone got 50 dollar presents except my sister’s husband who received a 25 dollar gift card. He’s a good sport and is grateful for the gift, but apparently we need to be clearer with our instructions next year.

Christmas day was back and forth between sides of families, culminating in a very calm drama-free dinner with my mom’s family. It can’t tell you the last time we had a purely drama free Christmas, and it was just SO nice.

The only not so nice part of the weekend was when the baby decided to not move at all. He has been really consistent the past week+ with when he’s active and what gets him moving. So it was REALLY stressful when he went a full 24 hours without making his presence known. Not a single kick or noticeable movement. I tried orange juice, Lemonheads, I laid down, I stood up, I sat, I relaxed, I poked him. You name it, I did it. And he did. not. move.

On a scale from 0 to 10, this ranked about a 40 on the terrifying scale. Thankfully at around 5 on Christmas evening he started kicking again and as I type he’s thumping away at my insides. He’s totally already messing with me. Clearly he’s related to his father. There are just no words to describe the relief we’re feeling today.

Today we went and looked at strollers and carriers and sheets and all thing baby at a Babies R Us before heading out of town. We are starting to narrow some things down and nearing the point where we can actually register, but strollers remain a challenge. I drove one around today that handled really well, was totally reasonably priced, has great reviews, and has the absolute worst basket. You can’t get into it, it’s small and shallow. It’s very possibly a deal breaker. The other strollers I’m interested in are not available at BRU, so I’m going to go look at another local store later this week.

There are just too many different strollers to choose from.

And now we’re just unpacking and doing some tidying. Tomorrow will be a big clean up day because we’re having friends over for dinner on Wednesday and our apartment could not possibly be more of a mess if it had to be. I’m sure it’ll be worth it for fun company, but ugh. And then it’s gift card shopping time. Because I think I have approximately 6 shirts that cover all my girth. Pregnancy and a long torso are not the easiest combination to dress, just FYI.

In all, we had a lovely weekend. We are so very blessed with wonderful families and friends and we are grateful for the time we got to spend with them this weekend. I hope you all had nice holidays and are relaxing and gradually coming out of your food and present comas.

Happy holidays again, friends.

As I sit here still digesting last night’s epic Chanukah feast and preparing to drive to my parent’s house for Christmas, I just wanted to take a minute to stop and wish you all a Happy Holidays. I hope that whatever you’re celebrating, even you’re not celebrating anything at all, that you are happy, healthy and with the people you love.

Merry Everything.

xo

I have one firm rule when it comes to baking and general sweet stuff making: I do not use candy thermometers. Once, early in my sweets obsession I decided to try to make candy, which required me to boil sugar and water to a precise degree with a candy thermometer. Three tries and a HUGE mess later, I swore I would never do it again. I also refuse to cook sugar and then drop it into a cup of water to see how hard the ball ends up.

Basically, I’m lazy. If you take nothing else away from this blog, it should be that.

So anyway, my hatred of all sugar boiling rules and tools has long kept me away from making candy or caramels. Until I found a recipe for caramel corn that required no thermometer and no dropping of balls of sugar. In fact, it required you to get something boiling and then WALK AWAY. Now, that is my kind of recipe.

I made it for the first time last winter and I’m pretty sure I made it again a week later. And a week after that. It is really, really addictive. I have taken a hiatus, but at my husband’s request and a desire to share this awesomeness with you, I made some today. I wish you could smell my house right now.

The recipe is a bit messy and because it involves hot caramel I strongly recommend that you not do this with kids in the kitchen, but aside from that, it’s not complicated and the results are consistently awesome. If you can boil, stir and spread things out in a pan, you can make this caramel corn.

Homemade Caramel Corn
Recipe from: Allrecipes.com

Ingredients
20 cups of popped popcorn (this sounds like a ton, but it’s really just 2 full sized bags, popped)
1 cup butter
2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp vanilla (I don’t really measure this)
1/2 tsp baking soda

Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 275, line two large shallow pans with aluminum foil. Put popped popcorn in the biggest bowl you can find. If it doesn’t fit it all, then two big bowls.

2. Melt butter in a medium or large saucepan over medium heat. When melted add brown sugar, corn syrup and salt. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly.

3. Once the mixture is boiling, stop stirring, take your spoon out and set a timer for 4 minutes. Do not stir. Seriously, do not stir. It’s going to go from relatively boring to increasingly, well, puffy for a lack of a better explanation.

This is when it started boiling:

This is after 4 minutes of boiling:

4. When the 4 minutes is up, add vanilla and baking soda. The carmel will froth up a little with the baking soda, just as a warning. Stir in completely, the caramel will be kind of puffy when you’re finished.

5. Pour caramel over popcorn and stir well. Don’t rush and be aware that the caramel is EXTREMELY hot. I usually keep a potholder on the hand holding the bowl just to be safe from pouring caramel on myself. I usually pour a third of the caramel, stir, pour another third, stir well and then pour the last of it, trying to get it evenly distributed. Like I said, don’t rush, but don’t be slow, you don’t want the caramel to seize up yet. I did not take a picture of the process of pouring and stirring caramel because I have a serious attachment to both my camera and my skin.

6. Pour the popcorn into the two lined pans and spread them out. I will usually pour it into the pans with a spoon and then use wax paper over my hand to spread it out. Just be careful, the popcorn is still really warm.

7. Put the caramel corn into the preheated oven (one pan on each of the top two shelves) and bake for 1 hour, but stopping to stir, break apart clumps and switch the top/bottom pan every 15 minutes. The baking process makes your caramel corn nice and crisp instead of the soggy mess it would be without the baking. Trust me, do not skip the baking step.

8. Remove from oven, allow to cool and enjoy! Store it in an airtight container or it will get stale relatively quickly. If it sticks around that long, at least.

I hadn’t really planned on blogging tonight since it’s already really late. But I just checked my grades and I just wanted to share quickly.

In my last semester of graduate school, the one that is supposed to be the toughest, I got straight As. I can’t emphasize enough how rigorous this semester was. It was supposed to be basically he culmination of all 3 years and the final exams I took were basically 3 years of information in two hours. It was intense. And I got straight As. It feels nothing short of amazing.

I still have one clinical affiliation between me and graduation in May, but my graduating GPA will officially be a 3.74. It’s not too shabby considering how close I came to quitting 2 years ago over fears of failing.

Suck on that headaches.

In the past few weeks I have seen more and more people on twitter and Facebook posting things about how they will only say Merry Christmas or about some war on Christmas. I have tried to stay quiet and not take the bait, but I’m sorry, I cannot hold my tongue anymore.

My husband and I celebrate Chanukah (and then Christmas with my family) and while maybe we aren’t representative of the majority, we aren’t offended when people say “Merry Christmas” to us. Frankly, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s meant to be a kind salutation and I appreciate the intent. I think most people feel this way, even if they don’t celebrate Christmas.

I sort of feel like it is crazy to be upset that someone is wishing for you to have a nice holiday. I was wished this twice today and both times I happily replied with something like “and to you” or “likewise.” I really don’t know, I was too busy trying to walk out of a store window that I thought was an automatic door. Because I am good at things.

What is a big deal to me are people who are offended with being told “Happy Holidays.”

You’re going to have to clear something up for me here because I simply do not understand what is offensive about saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. I mean, Christmas is a freaking holiday. It’s not as though people are saying, “Have a great holiday, unless it’s Christmas, and then I hope it SUCKS.” Wishing someone a Happy Holidays is the exact same thing as Merry Christmas, only it tries to include other holidays too.

I mean, you do realize that Chanukah has been around for a hell of a lot longer than Christmas, right? I mean, I won’t get into the conversation about how Jesus wasn’t even born in December, but ahem, HE WASN’T.

So to act as though Christmas needs to take priority over all other holidays is a little self-centered and closed-minded, I think. Sure, it’s great you celebrate Christmas, but it’s not the only holiday this time of year, it’s not a superior holiday, it’s just the one you know. I don’t get offended when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas, why on God’s green earth would anyone be offended to be greeted with Happy Holidays?

Open up your mind for a minute to realize that there are others around you who may be different. And by different, I don’t mean inferior or stupid or wrong. I mean different.

And this war on Christmas? IT DOES NOT EXIST. Seriously. There just isn’t one. No one is trying to do away with Christmas, no one is trying to convince you to stop celebrating it. We are simply asking you to be slightly tolerant of others.

To be grateful when someone wishes you a Happy Holidays instead of being offended that they didn’t say Merry Christmas instead.

4 years ago Meghan began a tradition of sharing holiday cards across the internet. Frankly I love the idea because it lets me see everyone’s super creative cards and steal ideas for next year. And even though ours is not nearly as creative as it was last year, I’m still excited to get them sent out to our family and friends and to share it with you all today.

Aside from my husband’s name and the addition of the s to happy holidays, this is the same card our friends and family will be receiving if they ever actually finish being produced and arrive. And we are happy to share it with you. The text is a little tough to read at certain sizes, so you can always click on it to zoom in.

And of course, happy holidays to you and yours.

(Sidenote: if you’re looking for a way to give back this holiday season, I have put together a list of ways to help families out, I’m always open to more ideas!)

Okay first, barring a complete life meltdown, I will blog 5 days this week. Seriously. I almost promise. I have big plans guys, big plans. Including posting our Holiday card tomorrow in Meghan’s 4th Annual Bloggy Holiday Card Exchange. Except that for you guys I went ahead and changed my stupid stupid typo so that the card says Happy HolidayS instead of Happy Holiday. All my friends receiving cards will be forced to choose a holiday this year. Because I am awesome.

I am finished eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, at least for the duration of this pregnancy. I can handle a lot of spice, but these just do not agree with my body anymore. Which is kind of sad.

Speaking of pregnancy, which, yes is apparently all I speak about anymore (sorry), Saturday was the half-way mark! This baby will be making his appearance in hopefully a few days shy of 20 weeks from now. And I swear in the last week the belly has grown tremendously. I don’t have a new picture for you tonight purely because of some issues with laziness and my husband not being around to take it, but I’ll try to get one up this week. I still don’t scream pregnant as much as I scream chubby, but I know what’s going on and am at peace with it. Most days.

I watched the finale of The Biggest Loser tonight and I have 2 comments. First, I really, really, really dislike John. I think he basically used his wife to win and pretty much learned nothing except that winning is everything. Which is the opposite of the point of the show. He didn’t go back to work, he didn’t cook. He just worked out all day. He may have won the money, but I think he’s one of the contestants we’ll see in a few years gaining a lot of weight back. And second, they went a whole season without showing puke and then in the finale they showed a preview of the new season including TWO puking episodes. We do not need to see vomit to know that they are working hard.

I really, really enjoyed the Giants and Texans losses today. The Packers one was fun too. I love a good upset, especially when my team isn’t the one being beaten.

The cats seriously missed us this past week. We got home late last night and pretty much went to bed. I was awakened by the Shmo at 1, 2:30, 3:40 and 4:15 because he NEEDED to love me. There was much purring and his signature head rub (where he snuggles in and rubs his head right under your chin). It melts my heart. Though admittedly less so in the middle of the night. Karma has also been extra loving, but that’s not saying much since any evidence of love would be a change for her.

I made smoothies for the first time today. I believe that this is going to become a routine, though I need to find cheaper sources of frozen berries. I may start posting some flavor/ingredient combos that I like. We’ll see. But I can nearly promise you that there will be a new recipe post up this week for something really tasty. It’s a dessert/snacky thing. It is awesome.

Speaking of food, we ate at pretty much every genre of restaurant while we were on vacation in New York. We had Cuban food, Japanese food, Creole/Cajun food, American food, French food and about all the diner food we could handle. I haven’t stepped on a scale yet, but I’m pretty sure the damage is awesome. Good thing my next OB appointment isn’t until next month, I have some time to slow down the weight gain.

Biting into a Lemonhead when you’re expecting a peanut butter m&m is a shock. Also rough on your teeth.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have some vacationing to do.

Oh right, I have a blog. I remember now.

We are 6 days into our 8 day vacation and well, it’s been really nice. We set up a plan the first few days we were here so that we would be sure to see all the things we wanted to see and do all the things we wanted to do. And then we have failed to ever follow the plan a little bit. Our plan is a bit of a living document, it turns outs.

The first day was a total wash because it took us 2 hours and a near death taxi adventure to get to my brother-in-law’s apartment in Uptown. And then we just wanted to eat and sleep. Or rather, I just wanted to eat and sleep because my husband slept through 4.5 hours of the 5 hour flight. I did not.

Jumping ahead to Monday, we ate breakfast and then lost another half a day to relaxing in the apartment. I know how to do vacation right. So we set out to try to see some Christmas-y parts of New York at night. We were going to go see the big tree at Rockafellar, and the decorated windows and have dinner or dessert at Serendipity. It was going to be pure New York in December awesome.

And then we got off the subway, walked away from the tree, couldn’t find the windows and found ourselves instead in FAO Schwartz and the Apple store. And Serendipity was way too crowded, so we went to an Italian place on the walk home. Like, I said, we are awesome at planning. But we had fun and that’s all I really care about.

Tuesday we tried to go to the Museum of Modern Art, which, naturally, is closed on Tuesdays (I found the signs “we are closed today and every Tuesday” annoyingly condescending. What, like we’re supposed to check the hours/days of operation before going somewhere? Pshaw). So then we spent the day walking back and forth between Times Square and Rockafellar Center because we kept finding different stores we wanted to go into and because again, we are awesome with the planning. And then I cried uncle and made my husband let me sit in a booth at a market/restaurant for an hour to rest my feet. I thought I was going to have to live in that booth because I never wanted to walk again.

And then we saw Spider-man, including a backstage tour (by the way, it never gets not awesome to stand on a stage on Broadway) with my BIL. And the show was seriously great. The stunts are much smoother than they were in January, the plot is easy to follow and the music is awesome. I highly recommend it. It’s a really fun show, though I’ll admit, it’s for a younger crowd. The people behind us (who were easily 70+ years old) were not really big fans. The people in the cast could simply not be nicer too.

Wednesday we literally did nothing all morning and afternoon. And then had a lovely dinner and saw Wicked. That show will never not be awesome. I could see it 100 times and never get tired of it. This was only my 2nd time, but I loved it every bit as much as the first time, maybe more.

I would love to show you pictures of our adventures, but I think I’ve taken approximately 10 so far and most of them are of the Hershey’s “factory” in Times Square, which is actually not a factory, but the world’s most overly decorated tiny store of candy ever.

We have a few more things to try to squeeze in our last 2 full days here and then we have to try to cram everything back into our suitcase and get home on Saturday. I will hopefully be better at writing here once vacation is over and I have nothing but hours to waste on my couch. But don’t hold your breath, I can almost always come up with an excuse to procrastinate, even from the things I enjoy doing. It’s a gift.

And now, back to vacation!