Archive for the ‘The Politics’ Category

I posted a comment on my facebook page and on twitter the other day, and it was meant to be a little tongue in cheek, but also, kind of true. It said, “Please let me know if you’re planning to vote for Donald Trump so that I can unfollow/unfriend you immediately.” A little mean, yes, but mostly meant as a joke. And to my surprise one of my high school classmates commented that he actually thought Trump had some good ideas.

A back and forth rhetoric got us onto the topic of immigration and it took all that I had to stay quiet.

On my last clinical I had an opportunity to see a different view on immigration and all I want to do is stand up and scream about it. You see, one of my patients was an American citizen but his mother and father were not. He was 20 years old and undergoing strong chemo and radiation for a spinal cord tumor and had been in the hospital continuously since November. Alone.

He had some family in the general area, but they could only come by every few weeks and to make matters worse, he developed some infections that required him to be on isolation indefinitely. For months he was alone in his room, no roommates, nurses only allowed in when gowned and gloved. This kid could literally not have been more alone if he tried.

In a family meeting his aunt came to ask the doctor to write a note. She said that our patient’s mother had been trying, for weeks, to come up to visit him, but the United States government denied her the documentation that would make her trip legal. She wasn’t applying for citizenship, she just wanted to spend some time with her son. To take care of her child. And the government said no. They said she was not allowed to see her son unless a doctor sent a note saying that he was dying. Ironically, though he was in the hospital, with active cancer and several other problems, he was not sick enough to see his mother.

He was not sick enough TO SEE HIS MOTHER. I can’t wrap my mind around that at all.

It broke my heart and it made me disappointed because I think we’ve reached a sad and scary point. We won’t let mothers drive 4 hours from Mexico to see their sons in the hospital. It wasn’t an elaborate scheme to move here and stay illegally, she wasn’t going to collect social security or have a job and not pay taxes, she just wanted to care for her child. And we wouldn’t let her.

I am not silly enough to think that there aren’t others who have abused the system, but at what point did the almighty dollar, did our repudiation of immigration, the very thing that got all of us here, exceed our capacity to care? I was disappointed when Congress failed to pass the DREAM act which would’ve given immigrants living here already, being educated in our schools already, access to financial aid for college. While it was being deliberated, my facebook stream was filled with people who hated the idea because we didn’t need anymore people on Welfare and stealing jobs.

I feel like I might have missed something. We seem to have given up on giving anyone the benefit of the doubt anymore and last time I checked, plenty of American citizens were on Welfare, were not paying taxes. We live in a black and white world and apparently if you are an immigrant, then you must be here to steal resources, period.

And I’m calling bullshit.

We need immigration reform, absolutely, but we don’t need to close our borders, we don’t need to refuse to let mothers visit their critically ill, but not terminally ill, sons. We live in this country because our families were allowed to immigrate. We are not citizens because we passed a tests or did something extraordinary, we are here because at some point, someone in our family moved here. So why is it that we are now so willing to prevent others from doing the same?

I just wonder where we would be if hundreds of years ago, people had turned their back on my family when they came to this country for a better life. I wonder if they would’ve sat silently while mothers were kept from their sick sons, simply because of where they were born.

I read this morning that the House of Representatives was going to vote to repeal the health care reform. And while technically I knew that the issue would never make it to the Senate (or if it did, it certainly wouldn’t pass) I just felt…sad. Sad and frustrated.

I know that there are a lot of reasons that people hate health care reform, but if you’ll let me, I’d like to share a really important reason why you should reconsider your position.

I was a very healthy kid. I broke my right arm at my sister’s birthday party when I was 8 and had allergies for as long as I can remember, but I didn’t have any surgeries, I was never hospitalized. I was about as normal as any kid could be. I was on my parent’s insurance when I was diagnosed with chiari malformation in 2006, and just a few months later I aged out of their coverage and moved across the country.

I looked into my work’s insurance and was disappointed to find out that while the teachers could buy into our school’s insurance, it was costly. But when I did some more searching and I found out that because of my chiari diagnosis and my history of depression and eating disorder, I was 100% uninsurable. I couldn’t even get a price quote because no one would even pretend to be willing to accept me.

My only choices were to spend more than my monthly salary for Cobra (which would provide me the same coverage I had through my parents) or spend $350 a month and get my school’s insurance since it was guaranteed for all employees. And while it maybe doesn’t seem like it, $350 is a lot each month for a private school teacher.

When I moved back to California in 2009, I did the same research. And came up with the same answer: I am uninsurable.

If my future employer doesn’t offer insurance, I will have to go without health insurance. And yes, many people can get away with this, but if I didn’t have insurance from August 2009 to July 2010 I would’ve paid more than $200,000 out of pocket.

Two hundred thousand dollars.

So in reality, I wouldn’t have been able to get medical care at all. Not for strep throat, not for 11 months of crushing headaches. I wouldn’t have the medications that have allowed me to continue school and be functional despite headaches, I would probably be on disability, because that’s what my life would be reduced to.

I just want you to think for a minute what it would be like to desperately need medical care and neither have insurance nor money to do it.

Here’s the thing- my story isn’t unique. In fact, I’ll bet there are many of you here who share the same fears and maybe even the reality of my nightmares.

All over this country there are people who cannot acquire insurance because of their past medical history. Cancer survivors, children with birth defects or who were born prematurely, adults who’ve done everything right, but whose body had other plans. Some of them are completely healthy now, but because they once struggled with their health, they won’t have insurance to cover them if they’re in a car accident, or if they fall and break a bone.

All of these people cannot get medical care, and the great irony is that these are the people who need it the most.

Repealing this health care reform takes away our only chance at being able to get insurance without a job or a spouse whose work provides it. Millions of people who need health care will not be able to get it without this reform and to pretend like this isn’t about people is wrong. This isn’t an issue of money, it isn’t an issue of government intrusion, this is an issue of providing medical care to millions of people who cannot get it on their own.

I have heard so many complaints about the costs, both literal and figurative, of this reform, and I just have to wonder what is really more costly: health care reform, or the lives of those who will not be able to get medical care without it?

47 and a half years ago, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave a speech in front of a crowd of people. He spoke eloquently of the hopes he held for his children, of the hopes he held for this country. He spoke about the things that divide us and the things that could bring us back together.

Martin Luther King Jr. lived in a world that was not so different from our world today. It was a time of political turmoil where the differences that separated people seemed enormous. It was a time where many were fighting for rights that others never had to give a second thought to, that seemed so very basic. It was a time when violence was common, when people were overcome by anger, by confusion. Where the whole country seemed on the brink of war.

And yet, Dr. King stood amidst the churning seas of violence and he preached non-violence to his followers, even when others were violent to them.

As I read the news today, stores of those in Tucson, stories of those around the world, I was overcome by disappointment. I think if Martin Luther King Jr. was alive today, he would be disappointed. Yes, civil rights were extended to African Americans in the United States, but the violence of the political parties, the refusal to give fairly basic rights to homosexuals scream out at me. We can do better than this.

We can extend rights to people so that when my children are old enough to marry, they can marry whoever it is they love, regardless of gender. We can extend non-violence and use diplomacy so that my children will never know a world where politics is ever even considered to be a source of violence. We can love each other, we can support each other.

We can do better. And I think we owe it to those who came before us, those who fought for what we have today, what we don’t give a second thought to, to try harder. I can’t wait for the day where Dr. Kings dreams are realized. Where children will live in a nation where all men are truly created equal. Where “‘justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

He had a dream. Let’s keep fighting for it.

Almost as soon as the shooting in Arizona was reported by the news on Saturday, accusations began floating across the internet. Soon those accusations were backed up by pictures and quotes, others were hurled out without the benefit of research. It was a mess to watch unfold.

People began to see images like the map and tweet below and things only got worse from there.

Sarah Palin’s camp has come out to say that the map and the slogan were about voting, not about violence, but I struggle to see that. I don’t know about you, but when I see pictures of cross hairs or when I hear the word reload, my first thought could hardly be farther from a ballot.

That said, I don’t think Sarah Palin and the Tea Party are responsible for this shooting and I think we need to stop blaming them. There’s no evidence suggesting that the shooter ever saw these images, let alone that they inspired him to open fire on those people. We need to stop jumping to conclusions.

BUT…

We need to question whether a young person could have been influenced by those types of things, because I don’t think the idea is all that far fetched. We need to consider the effect that images like that, that words like those could have on young people. We need to consider if we’ve taken politics a little too far.

I think that we should all stand up and demand that this stops. I think that the Palin camp needs to stop silently scrubbing their images from the internet and pretending like they were never there. They need to stand up, acknowledge that this tragedy has taught them that they need to be more conscious of their images. It doesn’t mean that they need to accept blame for what happened, they simply need to acknowledge that they were wrong in using gun images to grab voters.

And they are not the only ones responsible. For examples of violence propagated by democrats, see here and here (and thanks to commenters for supplying those examples).

We all need to stop saying that we want to kill people, even if it’s meant to be humerus. We need to teach our children the value of discourse instead of the value of tearing down those we disagree with and we need to do that by setting an example. We need to learn the power of our words- both in how bad they can make things and in how amazing they can be when used for good.

We need to stop blaming Sarah Palin and the Tea Party movement for the tragedy in Tucson, but we need to hold them, and others who inadvertently advocate violence, accountable for the damage they could’ve done. We need to make sure that we all stop with violent images, stop with language that incites violence and start using words and images that focus on the issues we care about.

We need to teach our children that we don’t need to hate those who think differently that we do. Our lives are too precious to spend so much time and energy on hate. And there’s way too much at stake to not remove the violence from our children’s lives.

We owe it to the victims and families of those in Tucson to make sure this never happens again.

I’m writing this with advanced knowledge that a lot of you are going to disagree with me. I’m okay with that, and hopefully we can all handle this as mature adults.

Though the news is still coming in, what we know so far is that 18 people were shot today in Arizona. CNN is reporting that 6 of them are dead, including a 9 year old child and a chief judge. And as I watched the news, I couldn’t help but find myself questioning the lack of gun control and how this man acquired a gun in the first place.

Yes, gun control. I’m going there.

I was talking with some friends about gun control and several of them indicated that they didn’t think that changing the laws would do any good because criminals would just get guns illegally. And I was kind of taken aback. I get that people are disenchanted by the government now, I really do, but do we really think it’s not worth even trying some gun control because it’s going to be difficult? I mean, people get cocaine illegally, should we just legalize all drugs and give up trying to keep our children away from them?

And more than a few people today have quoted the very famous line that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people”, but I want to consider that for a second.

Today a young man went into a grocery store and shot 18 people before he was tackled by a bystander and arrested. How many people do you think he would’ve been able to injure if he only had a knife? Or if he had to place an explosive device on the grounds of the grocery store without being seen? I can only guess, but I’m pretty sure that the casualty count would be considerably lower.

Guns may not kill people, but people with guns absolutely and tragically do. We saw that today.

I’m not advocating that we get rid of all guns, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why anyone needs an automatic weapon. I can understand rifles for hunting, I can sort of understand a hand gun for protection in your home, but not automatic weapons. Don’t tell me that for protection you need to shoot 20 bullets in 9 seconds. Don’t tell me that in order to hunt animals you need to be able to hold a trigger down and shoot 30 bullets without pausing. That’s bullshit and we all know it. Automatic guns do not need to be legal, they do not need to be available for purchase and I think it’s absolutely insane that they are.

But more than that, I wonder how many people have successfully disarmed an intruder with a gun verses how many people have been shot and killed by one in any given year. Maybe I’m assuming too much, but I’m pretty sure that the latter would far exceed the former and it just makes me wonder who these guns are really protecting.

I’m just tired of violence. I’m tired of how easy it is for someone who is unhappy with something in their life to get a gun and use it to kill someone. I’m tired of how easy it is for people who are clearly mentally unstable to acquire an absolutely deadly weapon. I’m tired of how often guns are in the headlines, how many lives have been lost because of them.

I don’t know the answer to the problem of guns (and yes, it IS a problem). But I know that it’s not to just ignore the situation. I know that it’s not to stand behind a grossly misinterpreted 2nd Amendment and shout about constitutional rights instead of considering the safety of our neighbors, of our children. Doing nothing hasn’t worked, we’ve had decades of that. There are family members all over Arizona who can personally attest to the fact that doing nothing, that being lax on guns, isn’t keeping anyone safe.

So I’m left wondering tonight, what is it going to take for us to make a change? How many more 9 year olds have to perish before we realize the harm we’re causing by ignoring the danger of guns? And how can we watch the news and hear of these tragedies and still be opposed to gun control?

I just don’t understand.

Dear Congress,

I don’t know what to do with you. I really don’t.

I’m a Democrat, I’ll put that up front right now. I have always leaned left and I suspect I always will. I’m not a radical, but I’m pretty firm in what I believe. But political affiliations aside (as much as one’s beliefs can ever be aside), I am terrified of the future of this country.

I don’t think that a Republican led House of Representatives is a bad thing, I really don’t. I’m a big believer in checks and balances and I think that it’s probably a good thing that at least one part of congress is controlled by a party opposite of the president. I’m not going to lie and say that I hope that both wings of congress fall into conservative hands, but I think that diversity in leadership is a good thing.

What I find to be less good is you, Congressman Boehner, our new Speaker of the House. I’m sure you’re a great guy and the fact that you’re a Republican is not my issue. My issue is the fact that you were quoted this week saying that “this is not a time for compromise.”

Sigh.

Here’s the thing Mr. Speaker, government is always a place for compromise, it has to be. I’m not trying to imply that Democrats have been good at compromise these past two years, because heaven knows they haven’t been, but the fact that you, the leader of the House, a leader in our government, are pre-emptively declaring an embargo on compromise? Well, I’m worried. I think you’re making a big mistake and I’m afraid of the consequences of it.

And Senator McConnell, I think you need to take a moment and consider the state of this country. Because it was you who said that “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”

Senator McConnell, with all due respect, you are doing it wrong. We are in the middle of an epic economic crisis, we are involved in multiple wars, and your biggest concern for this country is about how long the current president is in office? Seriously? I really don’t have any more words for you. You want to represent your constituents? Listen to what they want and fight for that instead. Otherwise, you don’t deserve to be their elected official.

And democrats. A big SIGH to you too. Compromise means not getting exactly what you want. Compromise means letting the other side win a battle or two. Compromise is not something that only the Republicans need to do. You cannot stand aside and ask the Republicans to give a mile if you’re not willing to give an inch.

Give compromise a chance and perhaps in two years you won’t have an election where the other party wins a crapload of seats from you again. Take note, this election is related to what you have and have not done.

Congress, the bottom line is that something has to be different. This isn’t working. People are not happy, the country is a hot mess and you need to get your shit together and do better. You need to stop pointing fingers, stop digging your heels in and try some discourse. Talk to each other, find out what you want to achieve (besides preventing Obama’s re-election, that one isn’t up for compromise, I don’t think), find out what you’re willing to give up.

This country is relying on you, we are trusting our future in your hands. Please don’t let us down anymore. Please remember that behind all the politics are real people who are struggling, suffering and scared for the future. Please remember that you are here to represent us, and to fight for what we, the citizens of this great country, need.

So go, take your new and old seats and try harder. Do better. Make us proud of our country again.

Please.

Sincerely,
A Worried American

I had planned to leave this topic for a while, but a news story caught my eye and well, I may as well get this out of my system now rather than bringing it up again later.

Don’t ask, don’t tell.

Someone is going to have to explain the benefit of this one to me because I. do. not. understand.

According to the policy, allowing openly gay men and women to serve in the military “would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability.”

Um. Huh?

Risk to morale. Okay, so we aren’t letting openly gay men and women serve because it might piss some people off? It’s funny, I would imagine that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell itself pisses a lot of people off.

Good order. Oh, well obviously. Those gays are a rowdy bunch. Can’t trust them to follow orders and maintain professionalism.

Discipline. This one is my favorite. Because the undertone of this law is what really gets at me. It’s saying, without really saying, that homosexuals cannot separate their work from their sexual preference/desires. It’s saying that because these people are gay, all they can think about is gay acts, is trying to force others into them or trying to spread their “deviance.”

Being gay does not make you more likely than any straight person to think about sex while working. Have you met a straight man? I would surmise that they think about sex every, oh, 17 seconds? And yet, they pose no risk to morale. No risk to good order. No risk to discipline. It’s weird, because last time I checked men and women were allowed to serve together in the military, yet we don’t worry about heterosexual relationships ruining the safety of our military.

And moreover, how does forcing a gay person to hide their sexual preference change anything? It doesn’t change anything inside them. It doesn’t change what their behavior will be. And last time I checked, no closeted homosexual had caused the demise of a military group. I’m sure that’s only because they kept their sexual orientation a secret. Obviously.

I’ve heard arguments that it’s for the safety of the homosexual military members. This is bullshit. If the heterosexual members of the military cannot act with good order and discipline, they should not be serving this country. If they are a risk to morale, they are the problem. It is unacceptable that we should prohibit gays from serving in the military because of the reaction of heterosexuals, of homophobes.

If these men and women pass the same physical and mental tests, if they are trained to protect their fellow soldiers and the good of this country, then there is no excuse for our country to be legislating homophobia. This law is an embarrassment, this law is a blight on the freedom seeking country history claim to have.

I am embarrassed that we have stood for this as long as we have. And I am saddened that so many seek to keep it in place.

Please. We can do better than this. We have to.

I don’t really like to write antagonistic blog posts. I don’t like moderating comments or dealing with strongly held beliefs. But this blog post needs to be written. It needs to be said. I can’t stay quiet anymore.

Homosexuality.

That’s what we’re talking about. Because I read a blog post last week that pissed me off. I am sure that the woman who wrote it is a nice person, I’m sure that she believes that she is right. I know she believes that the bible backs her up, that all of us, including her children, will be better off if we stop homosexuality in its tracks.

And I respectfully disagree. And I want to tell you why her arguments and others I’ve heard don’t work for me.

Argument 1: The Bible

Please, for the love of God, stop using the bible to defend homophobia and hatred. Stop using God and Jesus as your reason to hate your neighbor, to deprive them of your support, to deprive them of the same rights and privileges that you enjoy each day.

Yes, there are bible verses that speak of homosexuality.

“…Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 9-10

“If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.” Leviticus 20:13

But wait, that first one says that adulterers are equally evil? So then, if we’re using the bible literally, if we are taking it on it’s word and putting each verse into law, shouldn’t we disallow marriage between adulterers? And between alcoholics, thieves, and those who have been sexually promiscuous? I find it very odd how the rules in the bible only seems to apply to gays.

The bible also says that you shouldn’t eat or touch pork products, that you shouldn’t eat shrimp, and that if you curse your mother or father you should be put to death. It also clearly says you should love your neighbor as yourself.

Your bible is not a cafeteria, you cannot choose the parts you want to follow, ignore the rest and stand on high moral ground. Either stand behind it’s words and ideals or don’t. But only standing behinds the parts that fit your needs, your agenda, is not good enough.

Argument 2: “The Sanctity of Marriage”

I’ll be honest. Even typing the word sanctity with marriage made me laugh. In 2008, statistics indicated that 40% of marriages had ended in divorce. FORTY PERCENT. Another study in the United Kingdom showed that 27% of divorces were from adultery, 17% from abuse and 6% from addiction.

Can someone please show me how marriage is sacred? Because the institution that you’re talking about doesn’t exist. And letting gay couples marry isn’t going to change this imaginary construct you have. It isn’t going to destroy marriage, it isn’t going to devalue yours. My marriage has absolutely no impact on yours and yours has none on mine. But then again, maybe gay marriage has some sort of super power that I’m not aware of.

Argument 3: Homosexuality is a choice

It’s funny how the only people who believe that homosexuality is a choice are heterosexuals. I don’t know about you, but I never made a choice to like men. I just always liked them.

And while I firmly believe that it’s not a choice, the bottom line is that it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if it’s a choice or if you were born that way, or if it’s a mutation from radioactive spill. It. doesn’t. matter. Because homosexuals are citizens, just like you and me. They pay taxes, they vote. They aren’t criminals, they aren’t any less than anyone else and there’s no reason you can deprive them of the same rights you have. That is criminal.

Argument 4: It’s a slippery slope

This is my favorite. People who believe that if we legalize homosexual marriage that we will then have to let people marry horses or inanimate objects. Exactly how many people do you think want to marry animals? Because I’m almost 100% positive that it’s not as many people as you imagine. No one is going to force you to marry a horse, and seeing as how horses aren’t citizens, I think you can safely set this concern aside.

Argument 5: But what about my children!

I had a teacher in high school who was a devout Christian. I had another who was a Jew. I had an athiest for one class and I’m sure a handful of agnostics for others. Funny story, I didn’t switch religions because of their religion. It didn’t make me change my beliefs or morals. The only thing that did change was my knowledge in english, math, social studies and science.

Homosexuals are no different. They’re not there to teach your children about their sexuality, or about their religious convictions, or any other agenda people seem to think they have. And moreover, knowing you child’s teacher’s sexual orientation is none of your business.
————————————–

I could literally go on and on forever. I mean, I pretty much have. There are so many arguments against letting gays marry, there are so many excuses to hate people who are different. But when you dig deep enough, when you really look at all of this, it doesn’t add up. It’s not about religion. It’s not about the sanctity of marriage. It’s not about the root of homosexuality or your children. It’s about change.

Change is scary.

90 years ago, the idea of letting women vote terrified men across this country.

50 years ago, the idea of letting interracial couples marry was threatening to many throughout the US.

Change is always met with resistance.

But it never needs to be met with hatred.

A few weeks ago, I saw a CNN story about a church in Florida that is burning the Quran on September 11th. They believe that Islam is evil and that it’s of the devil. They believe that it should be destroyed and they’re starting with it’s holiest book. This church thinks that this act of hatred is the way to fix our broken world.

I respectfully disagree.

And I am disappointed.

This churches tout slogans asking what Jesus would do, they speak of the golden rule of loving their neighbor. They teach children Christian morals, they give models of how to live a Christ-like life. And yet, I cannot imagine that Jesus ever would’ve done this or ever asked his followers to. I cannot imaging that this is what he had in mind when he said that we should love our neighbors.

At first I was disappointed that more people weren’t outraged. How could we be calm and pretend like this wasn’t horrific?

I wanted to scream and yell and be angry that this was happening. I was confused by how we could just stand aside and let this happen.

And then I saw beautiful things start to come out of this mess of ugly. And slowly, very slowly my anger started to transform.

First, Karon Walrond started a “photobomb,” where she asked people to send in pictures with simple messages of peace and love. And she sent the pictures to the church as a way to show them how powerful love could be.

And then my friend Maria Melee continued what Karen started. Earlier this week, she proposed that love burns brighter than hatred and suggested that instead of sharing our outrage, instead of name calling and hatred, we send pictures of love to a twitter account associated with the church using the hashtag #loveburnsbrighter

And so instead of shouting and yelling and being angry like I normally would, I’m going to find and share love. I’m going to find peace. I’m going to tell his church that I believe that love burns brighter than their hatred. That those flames aren’t the answer.

Love is.

That hate isn’t the answer.

Love is.

Please join Maria (and many others) in tweeting to @iiotd with images of love using the hashtag #loveburnsbrighter. If you don’t use twitter or don’t want to tweet it, you are welcome to leave a comment or picture about love here and I’ll link the post with the hashtag sometime tomorrow.

Let’s bombard them with our love. Let’s show them that love burns brighter.

All credit to Maria and Karen for their wonderful, peace-minded ideas.

While I was in Utah for the evo conference, I met up with my best friend from high school. She lives in Utah, and just happens to be both a devout Mormon and a very serious Republican. But, she LOVES to talk politics and religion, particularly with people she doesn’t agree with. Which is awesome, because ME TOO. And even more than that, she does it while staying as lovely as always. I somehow seem to always walk away from our infrequent talks critically thinking and inspired.

She is with most Republicans in that she doesn’t want new taxes and she absolutely hates the idea of socialism. Well, she hates it as much as she hates anything, which is to say, she hates it, but would still give it a big hug, because that’s how my friend is.

And I told her that I didn’t understand the fear or hatred of socialism, in fact, I like the idea of socialism (GASP). To me, we have an obligation to help others who need it. We have an obligation to provide for those who can’t. And to me, the wealthiest people have the biggest obligation. If you have more money to spare, you should use some of it to help those who have less. That is obvious to me, and the idea that others don’t agree, just plain confuses me.

My friend sat and thought for a moment. And then she told me that the difference for her is that she already donates as much as she can. And yes, it’s primarily to church and church based organizations, but she donates it to causes she feels strongly about, causes that she feels are appropriate. She said that she doesn’t like the idea that the government tells her where to be charitable.

And internet, for the first time, the dislike of socialism made a little sense. I mean, I still disagreed with her, but I understood her perspective. For people who are already wanting to donate money, to help causes, to be charitable, socialism really isn’t necessary. And when you really think about it, the idea that we could all voluntarily help each other, without the government directing it, is kind of awesome.

And not realistic.

Because the thing is, I don’t think that very many people are like my friend. I don’t think that there are anywhere near enough people who are willing to donate as much of their income as they can safely manage, to help others. I just don’t. And maybe I’m wrong, but from what I see, and what I hear about from those who are opposed to higher taxes, who are opposed to welfare, it just seems like the charitable spirit is not so widespread.

I want to believe in people more than I do, but considering the huge fits that are being thrown by people for even small tax increases to help other people, to help this country, I just don’t see it happening. The more I read about conservative groups spitting vitriol about those who need assistance, calling them names, accusing them of addictions and laziness, the more I know that we are not ready for the government to stop legislating charity.

We are not ready.

Even I’ll admit that I’m not ready. I don’t dislike giving money, donating to those who need it, quite the opposite, really. But, I imagine like many of you, I don’t have time to do the leg work to find organizations that will really help people with my funds. And yes, I see all of you rolling your eyes at the idea that the government does that with your tax dollars, but it does.

I explained this to my friend and she frowned. She didn’t like my pessimism. She didn’t like the idea that people wouldn’t pick up the slack and help others. And I didn’t like it either, but I think that I’m right about it, and I think that for the first time, she understood my perspective and my argument for a variation of socialism.

In a little pizza place in Park City, Utah, the two of us had a discourse that few people can have. We had a conversation where we both talked and thoughtfully, genuinely listened. Where we knew that the intentions of the other person were as pure as our own. Where we had no malevolence for the other person or their opinion. Where we just wanted to learn, to understand.

I don’t know that the two of us will ever agree on politics. In the 14 years we’ve been friends, we haven’t yet. I don’t know if we’ll either be satisfied by our government, or enamored with public policy.

But I do think maybe we’d all spend a lot less time yelling if we approached politics like we were talking with friends. If we talked to others like we valued them, if we listened to ideas and tried to understand them not just change them.

Last month, a Republican and a Democrat walked into a pizza place, talked about politics and walked out as friends anyway.