Archive for the ‘The Nonsense’ Category

At 12:35am tonight, I turn thirty.

As I understand it, this is a pretty big deal, and yet it feels very much the opposite. I don’t mean it in the hum drum I don’t want to age way. Or in the, don’t make a big deal about it humble mention way. I mean, thirty just seems like another year. I can’t see how it’s different than twenty-nine.

This past year has been the very best year of my life.

My health has been fantastic. I have gotten to stay home part time and raise the most incredible little person on this earth (it’s true). My marriage is the best it has ever been. My family is incredible and closer than ever. I literally could not ask for life to be better than it is right now. I can’t imagine how it would even be possible.

So the whole charade of thirty just seems…underwhelming.

The only real change is that I’ll have to put a new number or pick a new age range on forms. Everything else remains the same.

And as excited as I am for another birthday, what I’m most excited about is the future. I’m excited about this life I get to lead. I’m excited for all the tremendous blessings in my life. For more time with my family. For more days with my son. For more adventures ahead. I’m excited for the future, no matter what number year it may be.

Thirty itself means very little to me, but starting another year of this incredible life? That means the world. I can’t wait.

We can file this blog post into the, I need a laugh because I’ve been stuck at home with a very sad, sick baby for the past 3 days.

My husband and I have a queen sized bed. I am not particularly fond of king beds because it just feels so giant in a room and I actually like cuddling. Sometimes. It seems like in order to cuddle in a king sized bed, you have to make a great migration across the vast desert of sheets and yea, I just said that. Anyway, we like our bed. But lately, I’m reconsidering my queen sized stance.

This is how we begin in bed each night, but obviously with a comforter on top of us.

(We’re spooning. And that’s Jacques-Imo, totally drawn to scale.)

This is 5 minutes later, when I start itching and we both go to the way we really want to be sleeping and drop the cuddling charade. Please note my husband’s arm under my pillow, which is one of my lifetime pet peeves and somehow, also, a requirement for him sleeping.

Then the baby wakes up and I get up to feed him and sometimes to pump. This provides my husband and cat the opportunity to make a move. And oh, they do.

My second greatest pet peeve is husband head on my pillow because dude, heads smell. Especially heads with short hair and then I put my face on it and gaaaaaaaag.

My husband is only 5’10″ but I swear when he has the whole bed to himself, he manages to be about 7 feet tall. And who doesn’t love a little cat ass on their pillow? I mean really.

Last night, after putting the crying baby back to bed and pumping (and falling asleep pumping, and then pumping again, because my problem solving skills at night are not good), this is how I slept. And I am seriously, not even exaggerating. PLEASE NOTE THE HUSBAND ARM.

And then when the baby got up again, this is how I spent the rest of the night. Not pictured, wet cat nose, all over my face. Also, my rage.

My husband insists that this is exaggeration, but given that on multiple occasions he has awakened in the morning and excitedly proclaimed how awesome it was that the baby, who was up FOUR TIMES that night, slept through the night, he does not get a say.

I think I might get a sleep coach for my husband and cat. Or maybe I’ll just go sleep in the baby’s crib since he’s never going to.

If you’re here to help Peter and Megan, click here for more information

I did a yearly review last year that I found at All and Sundry and even though Linda has decided not to do it this year, I wanted to do the survey again this year because I’m lazy and it makes it so easy to compare to last year. In the past I’ve pulled up my favorite posts from the year and shared them, but it feels sort of self-promotion-y and honestly, I’m not all that proud of the writing I’ve done this year. This list feels like a better way to encase this year and to see how thing have changed these past 366 days.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
I gave birth. I promise this won’t be the answer to every question, but that was the big one. I also graduated for the last time (even though I didn’t get to walk) and started my first job in my chosen field.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Well, upon looking back, it turns out my resolution last year was to worry less, so, no, I think we can all safely agree that I did not keep that resolution. In my defense (as if someone besides me even cares), I did try and I did manage a lot of my worries better than I have before. But when it comes to the safety of my child, my worrying was nothing short of completely out of control. I’ve been in therapy for a few months now and we have made some progress.

My resolutions for this year are to get rid of the word should, both out loud and mentally. I’m tired of fighting against someone else’s idea of what is right instead of what is actually right for us. So this year is about doing what is right for us, unapologetically, 100% of the time.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My big sister. Also my uterus.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. I am unbelievably lucky to have all my loved ones alive and well.

5. What countries did you visit?
Just the United States. We did travel to Arizona in September and San Diego in November, but that was the extent of our travels this past year. We have a few exciting (domestic) trips coming up in 2013.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Financial security. We are doing fine, but we are also beginning to pay off some sizable debts (debts that we got into knowingly, so please don’t mistake this for feeling like a victim, it just sucks), both to our schools and to our family and it would be nice to feel like we had a little breathing room in covering costs and paying down debts. I don’t expect 2013 will be the year we get that, but we dare to dream.

I just looked back at last years and holy crap I wrote the same thing. Well then.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 10th, our last day as a family of two, my last day as a grad student.
May 11th, the day we became parents, the day I graduated and our whole world changed.
August 27th, my first day of work.
October 25th, the day my niece joined our family.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Graduating and passing my board exams. Those were 3 of the hardest years of my life and I finished them, got my diploma and passed my board exam on the first try, after studying with a newborn. I’d say also going back to work and leaving my child, which was probably also the hardest achievement of the year.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Breastfeeding. As much as I have tried to let this one go, it will always nag at me. I know it seems silly, but something so tied to my role as a woman and mother isn’t so easy to just let go, even if it wasn’t really my fault.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope! You have no idea how crazy that is, after having (or perhaps letting) my life be completely intertwined with my health, this was the first year in a long time that I’ve been healthy. I didn’t see a neurologist the entire year, nor a neurosurgeon. I was not on any medications except over the counter ones. My child has been a bit of a health train wreck the last month, but he’s getting through.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Honestly, we were given so much from people this year that we didn’t buy all that much ourselves. If I had to pin down one thing I’d say my breast pump, which is both boring and a little awkward, but it allowed me to continue providing my child with the nutrition I wanted, despite our breastfeeding woes. I’m done talking about my boobs now, I promise.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Diapers, rent, food (this was the year of eating), baby clothes, baby toys, food. No major purchases this year per se, just making payments on the things we already have (car, rent, credit cards, student loans).

13. What did you get really excited about?
Passing my boards, getting a job, getting a second job, the baby napping his own room (as of this week!), really adorable diapers (judge me, I’m cool with it), how incredible this child is and all the really unbelievably cool things he does. What? backwards crawling is cool, I defy you to prove otherwise.

14. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Some Nights by fun.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Happier. Embarrassingly happy.
– thinner or fatter? Fatter. I weigh one whole pound less than I did the day we came home from the hospital.
– richer or poorer? Richer, though using the word rich here makes me laugh.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Exercise, sleeping, reading.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Eating, worrying.

18. How did you spend Chanukah/Christmas?
We celebrated the first night of Chanukah with my in-laws, and lit the candles at home and opened gifts each night by ourselves. Christmas was with my family, in my hometown. And truly, it was one of the best Christmases I can remember.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
Modern Family, New Girl, Criminal Minds

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I am embarrassed to admit that I read zero books this year, well, that’s not true. I’ve read Goodnight Moon and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom many times, but adult books, none. Honestly, every time I sat down to read, I felt like I should’ve been doing a hundred other things and so I did them. I have loaded the Hunger Games onto my Kindle and will be starting that during Eli’s afternoon nap today.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

I am particularly obsessed with fun. right now, but as usual, I listen to a lot of the Glee soundtrack, even though the show has jumped about 8 sharks already.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
The Avengers (which we saw on my due date!), Pitch Perfect, The 5 Year Engagement (they are my favorites because they are pretty much the only movies I saw this year.)

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29 and I did absolutely nothing (well fine, I went to Babies R Us and Five Guys). I was offered the chance to go to San Diego to hang out with some of my husband’s friends, but I was 8 days postpartum, an emotional wreck, and had almost no bladder control (yay more TMI), so I stayed in my apartment and wallowed a bit.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The easiest answer is to say worrying less, which I also said last year. But the truth of it is, I cannot imagine this year being immeasurably more satisfying. I wish breastfeeding would’ve worked. I wish I’d have stayed awake fewer nights worrying about something happening to my child. I wish Eli hadn’t been so sick these past few weeks. But none of those things would’ve made this year immeasurably more satisfying, hell, not even measurably so. This year was incredible and satisfying in just about every way.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Lazy. Until the baby was born, I was wearing fairly cute maternity wear, because when you’re pregnant, it’s cool to have shirts that are snug. Since the baby has been born I’ve been wearing any and everything that is unsnug. I have some feelings about my postpartum body and wardrobe, but now is not the time to go through them. Safe to say, there is room for improvement on both. And a handful of gift cards that will be used to address at least one part of that situation.

26. What kept you sane?
My sister, my husband (though he also enjoys making me insane, so), the internet

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

I learned this year how incredibly fortunate I am. I have lived as a victim for a long time. A victim of my brain stuff, a victim of pain, a victim of anxiety. And in that victim mode I couldn’t see the things before me that were so incredible, that many people would’ve killed to have. I couldn’t see that the bad things were so insignificant compared to all the great that surrounded me. It doesn’t mean I don’t ever get to feel frustrated or disappointed or complain, but it does mean I pause when I start to get into that mode and work to get out of it faster. My life lesson was to stop focusing on the bad and appreciate the tremendous amount of good.

A lot of you have expressed a desire for 2012 to end, as evidence by the high number of “good riddances” I see on various social media sites. And as much as I understand those sentiments since that was me in 2009 and 2010, and to an extent in 2011, this has been, hands down, the best year of my life. This year I became a mother. I became an aunt again. I became myself again. I feel better than I have in years. I am struggling with anxiety, but I am truly, genuinely happy very much of the time. Though I am looking forward to 2013, I am sad to part with 2012 because it was so, so good to me. I’m genuinely sorry for all my friends who have struggled this year and I hope that 2013 is what you are hoping it to be and more.

Happy New Year to you and yours.

Before we moved into our apartment last year, we went online and read all the reviews. It’s become kind of a habit now, before we buy just about anything, we see what other people think. In a way I like it, but it also makes me feel like I’m the most co-dependent person in the world. I couldn’t buy a damn high chair without consulting the internet.

But anyway. The online reviews were mixed. Some people really liked the complex, others did not. Some could never park, some always could. And some reported out of control black widows, others swore they had never seen a single one. I could handle parking and an occasional loud neighbor, but the spiders worried me. We asked a friend who lived there and he said he’d never had a spider problem in the 4 years he’d been a resident.

And for the first 6ish months, we had no major spider issues. At some point we started getting more spider webs on our porch and that meant that laundry was only done during the day (our laundry is outside on our front porch), but no big deal.

Earlier this summer, the birds of paradise in our front porch flowerbed started to grow kind of rapidly. By June they were starting to encroach on our walkway, but if we just leaned slightly away from them it was no big deal. By July you had to lean and crouch. For the past 2 months we’ve basically just run full speed ahead with our hands in front of us because there was no amount of leaning that would clear the bushes. I was a little nervous pushing the stroller through the plants since the leaves rubbed all over the carseat, but there wasn’t much that could be done and so we just let it go.

But then we started noticing spiders. Black freaking widows. I am a total scaredy cat when it comes to black widows. There was one that hung out right by our door and it seriously kept me from running more than a couple of errands.

After a few weeks, I stopped hoping the gardeners would read my mind and come trim our plants and called the front office (a novel idea, no?). They assured me the gardeners would come that week and that they’d spray our building for spiders on Tuesday. They seemed concerned and serious about it. A week came and went and the plants and the spiders were still present. So my husband called and said the exact same thing I had said and the next day, the plants were gone.

They left us a note saying they had sprayed for spiders that day as well. We breathed a sigh of relief and reveled in our new, spider-less walkway.

A few days later I was taking my sweet time opening the door when my husband told me to look down. I figured he was just being a brat since I was being so slow, but I looked down anyway. And about 3 inches from my foot was a spider. A black widow. And when I turned around to hurredly go back to unlocking the door, I noticed that about 6 inches below the lock I had just placed a key in was another one.

Thankfully the baby was not asleep because the shriek I let out was not quiet or adult-like at all. I killed both and dashed inside, leaving their carcasses as a warning sign for their 900 brothers and sisters.

It’s been about a week and though they plague my sleep, it seems as though the spiders are really gone this time. The plants are already starting to grow back and if I owned a shovel and wasn’t convinced the dirt was made of black widows, I’d go dig them out myself.

Ultimately I think the moral of the story is to have my husband make all important phone calls from now on since he is clearly more articulate than I am. And also to buy a shovel and probably some boots next time I’m at the store.

I’m not sure how to really capture today because it was such a weird day in general. There were parts that were totally worth celebrating because they were really good things, and then there were parts that were just completely crappy.

The good
My school approved my clinical compromise plan of being finished 2 weeks early. Which means I have 14 more days of this clinical. My last day is April 6th. I could die of happiness over this. I’m not sure what the fine print is going to be exactly, but if I’m able to finish the next 3 weeks, I will graduate on time and I won’t have to make up any clinical time. This is really, really, really good news.

The OB appointment went well today. I’m measuring right on track and the baby appears to be doing well despite his insistence upon kicking the crap out of my ribs. My doctor was largely unconcerned about the contractions and said she’s okay with 5 contractions an hour now (up from 4 last month, woo hoo) and barring a major change in status, I should be fine to finish these last 3 weeks of my clinical (which translates to NO BED REST!). And I’m on every other week appointments now, which is just wild. She also deemed an issue I was having with my defective boob totally okay, which was a relief.

The bad parts are so much more complicated and seemingly numerous.
I spoke with my clinical instructor today about the things I need to work on in the remaining 3 weeks. We met a few weeks ago and I’ve been feeling pretty on track and by and large, I am. But she is just seriously the most nit picky person ever. I’m not sure I’ll ever be told I’m doing well because there is always some silly inconsequential thing she chooses to pick at each day. Today’s was that I followed her directions too well when dictating some patient notes and she wanted me to take more initiative. I don’t even know what she wants. If I follow her directions, I’m wrong. If I don’t, I’m wrong. The bottom line is I’m wrong and I’m starting to feel so perpetually beat down by it that it’s making me crazy.

And then I tried to take a different feedback and use it during a patient session and it didn’t work. But not because I didn’t do it right, but because she interrupted my treatment for the 800,000th time, just like she said she wouldn’t do. I happily accept feedback and I work SO hard to improve and I feel like the biggest thing standing in my way of success right now is my clinical instructor, which is so ass backwards.

I farted audibly in clinic today. Go ahead and laugh at me. I wanted to die. I couldn’t even blame it on the kid I was working with because they were just slightly too far away.

I hurt everywhere. Like literally, name a body part, it hurts.

A friend of mine, who was originally just a friend of my sister’s, but who I now consider a friend myself, found out this weekend that her husband has a brain tumor. She spent today waiting in a waiting room while neurosurgeons removed it. They don’t know much yet except that it is a primary tumor (it didn’t metastasize from anywhere), which is great, but the whole thing just plain sucks. They have already managed more than their fair share of life hurdles in the past few years and they are just good people. She’s also a reader here, so if you have some spare thoughts and prayers, I know she’d appreciate them.

Yes, I did put farting and a brain tumor in the same category. I told you I was having a hard time capturing today properly. It’s been a weird day. And I’m ready for it to be over now.

On Saturday I was introduced to the newest phone time suck, a wonderful game called Draw Something. Basically you get to choose between 3 words, one is easy, one is moderate and one is hard and you have to draw a picture to represent whichever word you choose and the person you’re playing against guesses.

Things they don’t tell you off the bat is that the person you’re playing against can see your drawing in real time, so if, say, you draw and erase a car 18 times in trying to draw “pedal” the person you’re playing against will discover that you are an especially crazy brand of perfectionist even though your final product still looked nothing like a car. They also might quit their game with you. Just saying.

They also don’t tell you that you cannot play this game in a quiet room because I have yet to sit down and not laugh out loud. It is HARD to draw on a tiny screen and some of these clues are genuinely impossible. Hats off to anyone who can draw Kanye well, because I totally failed.

Once I discovered the hilarity, I started taking screen caps to share. Because some of these were too priceless. Please know that I am not criticizing anyone’s drawing abilities, in fact, to make you all feel better, I’ll lead with 2 of my awesome pictures. Basically I’m Picasso you guys.

The word was slip, and for some reason, a nip slip was the most obvious picture I could think of.

COOKIE.

And now onto drawings I got to guess, of which I’m not going to give you the answers, because you should have to struggle like I did.

The words were crucial for this one.

This one took me way too long on account of Meghan has never seen a remote control or web browser.

Look, this one is pretty obvious, but is that not the greatest silhouette of a gorilla ever?

Hint: the word is not sex, fuck or slut

My husband is an artist

As someone on twitter said, oh, it definitely doesn’t look like a pitchfork throwing a domino

And my personal favorite, courtesy of my husband (you’re lucky the word is given at the top, because no one in their right mind would get this one)

And there you have it. This is why I spent the last 3 days laughing maniacally to myself.

Today was not my finest day.

This morning, I got ready and stumbled downstairs at 6:45 to heat up 2 small cinnamon rolls as I have done every morning for the past several weeks. Don’t judge me. Cinnamon rolls are as close to a craving as I’ve ever had and I cannot get enough of them. I’m sure the results of Tuesday’s glucose test will make that come to a screeching halt soon enough.

Anyways, I realized as I was descending the stairs that I had never covered the cinnamon rolls I baked last night. Under normal circumstances I would not be all that worried. Maybe they’d be a little stale. But no, I live with the cat who has no self control. So all the tops of the cinnamon rolls were gone. He ate THE BEST PART OF ALL MY CINNAMON ROLLS. I may have come close to shedding a tear over this.

My favorite part of this story was that my husband didn’t even notice and ate two of them for breakfast. His only comment when I pointed out what happened was that he wondered why I had only put frosting on the sides of the rolls.

From there, I got in the car and found way more traffic than I expected and as the traffic came to a sudden stop, I watched in abject terror as the car behind me continued to speed along, unaware that I was not moving. Finally he saw and slammed on his breaks. There was NO chance he would stop in time and my only saving grace was that the car in front of me moved like 10 feet, so instead of a big accident, I moved forward as much as I could and got a friendly little love tap from the guy behind me. There are 2 very tiny circular scratches on my bumper from his license plate and I’m not pursuing it. I’m going to put way bigger scratches in my car than that, and I do not want the hassle.

Then I finally got to work, where I opened my locker door and then bent over to grab the water bottle I set on the ground. And then I stood up right into the locker door. There are almost no words to describe how surprising and painful that was.

And just when I thought the ugly part of the day was complete, I ruined my Easy Mac at lunch. Well, the water machine did it. It didn’t stop dispensing water when it was supposed to and so for lunch I had macaroni and cheese soup. It was really kind of awful.

And the worst part of the day was that though I saw my life flash before my eyes (what, I’m not dramatic at all) in my car and have a huge bruised egg sized knot on my head, I realized that I was far more upset about my cinnamon rolls and Easy Mac. The universe and my cat should both know better than to mess with a pregnant woman’s food.

So, I have gone back and forth about writing a year end post and had mostly decided not to because I just didn’t have it in me to delve through the year and find links and blah blah blah. And then I stumbled across Sundry’s yearly recap and decided that I could totally answer 27 questions about 2011. And that will be a good way to finish out 2011. And it allows me to stay lazy, which is obviously key.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Got knocked up. I promise that won’t be the answer to everything. I also bought my first new car all by myself. Okay, so my husband was there, but it was my hard-assery that got us the price we wanted. And I only had to call my dad 800 times for support. Whatever.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Nope and yes. My resolutions last year were to be healthier, which hilariously included more fruits and vegetables and fewer carbohydrates. I would argue that I have actually made some pretty decent headway on my fruit/veggie consumption. I think the fact that I’m not discussing the carbohydrates while I sit next to a virtually empty box of See’s Candy can fill in the rest of that for you.

For 2012 my resolution is to try to worry less. Because I can see how being a mother is going to make me a basket case and I’m trying to slow the crazy train down before it reaches the station, so to speak.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I had a few friends in real life and on the internet, but no family or close friends. 2012 is going to be the year of the babies, I’m pretty sure.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully no. A great-aunt on my dad’s side, who I was fortunate enough to see (for the first time in YEARS) just a few months before she passed away.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. We went to New York twice, New Orleans and I got a trip to San Diego, but no passports were required in 2011. Nor for the next 20 years.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Financial security. ahahahahahahahaha. Because obviously graduating from graduate school and having a baby in one month is likely to bring about exactly that. Check back with me in 20 years when our loan forgiveness has finally come through.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 29th, 2011. The day I woke up and decided to pee on a stick, not because I thought I was pregnant by any means, but because I just wanted to double check. And I was. And I woke my husband up 5 minutes before his alarm to tell him and spent the entire rest of that day floating outside myself, because holy shit, a baby.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finishing my last semester of classroom learning (EVER) and getting straight As in my last 2 semesters of graduate school.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to spend as much time as I would like with my family.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Ahahahahaha. The headaches persist, I fractured a bone in my hand (which healed beautifully), though I have to say that 2011 required many fewer medical tests and bills than the years preceding it. Even with ultrasounds and OB visits.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My car, my phone (on a cellular network that actually gets service).

12. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, to pay for my air conditioning habits, new car, MRIs.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Feeling my baby kick for the first time. Finding out we’re having a son. Tamales.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Fix You by Coldplay or by Mr. Shuster.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Unquestionably happier. Absurdly happy.
– thinner or fatter? Waaaaaay fatter. I can only blame the baby for some of it.
– richer or poorer? About the same, though I would argue we’re doing better at managing our finances.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Cooking at home, spending time with my husband and family.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying. Dry heaving.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
With my family, freaking out because they baby decided to sit completely still for 24 hours.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
Everything on the Food Network, Modern Family, Up All Night, Glee

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I read very little in 2011, but I think I got through and enjoyed all of James Patterson’s new books.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Don’t judge me, but I never listen to new stuff, I always listen to music on my iPhone. So pretty much the Glee soundtrack, the Spider-Man Broadway soundtrack and a few others here and there.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
The final Harry Potter, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and I literally cannot remember seeing any other movies. That’s so sad.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
28 (though about 80% of the time, I’m still sure I’m 27) and I played in a softball game (I got an out for the other team and two for mine…) and went out to dinner with my husband and several of the other softball players.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Booze. No, I’m kidding. Aside from better management of the anxiety in my brain, I cannot think of anything that would’ve made this year more satisfying.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Couch comfortable. I know what I like, it can usually be found at Gap or Ann Taylor, and leggings and tights are not pants unless your shirt can be confused for a dress. Just saying.

26. What kept you sane?
Zofran, my sister, sleep, good friends.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I think I finally began to see how invaluable worrying is. I haven’t managed to eradicate it from my life by any means, but I’ve really realized that it gets me no where and that staying calm makes almost everything more manageable. I think I realized that I’m a lot stronger than I’ve given myself credit for. And that my marriage, my family is immeasurably important to me.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Tonight we did something I don’t think we’ve done since we lived in New Orleans- we had friends over for dinner. I know that sounds so sad and anti-social, but well, we’re sad and anti-social. The only people who have been in our current apartment (that we moved into in late June) are my parents and my husband’s parents and us. Seriously, that’s it. Okay fine, the lady that fed our cats and one of my husband’s friends once for an hour, but that’s really it.

So tonight we changed that.

One of my husband’s coworkers and her husband and their 10 month old daughter came over for dinner. They live pretty close and are super fun people, so we were happy to have them. I cooked a big dinner (chicken, macaroni and cheese, salad and apple/cranberry cobbler) and we sat around our table and had a great time. The baby had an especially fun time pulling all the bottles of wine out of our wine rack and ruining my husband’s pattern, it was awesome. It turns out our house is just not really baby friendly, but she didn’t get hurt, nor did she get to drink any wine, so we’ll call it a win.

Our anti-social behavior has had one major side effect though. My cat. He doesn’t like other people. He is absolutely as sugar sweet as he could be when it’s just us. He snuggles, he purrs, he is just the best cat. But when people come over, he loses himself. He hisses and spits, he usually stays on the landing of the stairs and watches, coming down periodically to hiss and remind us that he is unhappy.

He doesn’t seem to be protecting us (or if he is, he’s terrible at it), and sometimes he’ll rub against a person’s leg, while hissing. I think he doesn’t even know how he really feels but he knows he is uncomfortable. He let the baby pet his head once before hissing and running away, so maybe that’s a good sign. He better get used to that stuff real quick.

Most of all it was just nice to have adult conversations with people who are in the same stage of their life as we are. I get to talk on the internet to people all day, but the act of conversing in person is irreplaceable. This couple knows what we’re going through with residency and pregnancy and they have a great sense of humor. They gave us good advice about the first year of having a baby and even helped my husband move a table in anticipation of the upcoming office/nursery furniture moving festival. It was really great.

And they even got us to clean our apartment, which, let’s face it, does not happen often. In fact, I’m seriously thinking that we may need to have friends over more, just so that our apartment stays at least something close to its current state of cleanliness. That’s the adult thing to do, I’m pretty sure.

So we’re home after a weekend of celebrating winter holidays. It was a really nice weekend, but I’m not going to lie, it is also really nice to be home.

On Friday we went to my in-laws and had a lovely Chanukah dinner. It was really good food (latkes!), overall nice conversation and it was great fun to watch our nieces open their presents. Granted, it made us feel like absolute crap that my SIL’s best friend came and brought each niece at least 10 presents while we only bought them 1 a piece. At least the girls were happy. We were extremely fortunate that in addition to wonderful gifts, we received a huge Rubbermaid container of toys and books my SIL is handing down to us.

Saturday we drove to my hometown where we had Christmas Eve dinner with my dad’s side of the family. We did something a little different this year and it mimics what we do at my mom’s family. Instead of buying everyone a present, which is difficult when you don’t see these family members more than 2 or 3 times a year, we did a name draw, so you only buy one present (and then we all bought one for my grandma) for your assigned person.

The fine print of the name draw is that the presents have a 50 dollar limit so that everyone gets relatively equal presents, though occasionally people spend a little more when it’s something special. It was largely successful save for the part where everyone got 50 dollar presents except my sister’s husband who received a 25 dollar gift card. He’s a good sport and is grateful for the gift, but apparently we need to be clearer with our instructions next year.

Christmas day was back and forth between sides of families, culminating in a very calm drama-free dinner with my mom’s family. It can’t tell you the last time we had a purely drama free Christmas, and it was just SO nice.

The only not so nice part of the weekend was when the baby decided to not move at all. He has been really consistent the past week+ with when he’s active and what gets him moving. So it was REALLY stressful when he went a full 24 hours without making his presence known. Not a single kick or noticeable movement. I tried orange juice, Lemonheads, I laid down, I stood up, I sat, I relaxed, I poked him. You name it, I did it. And he did. not. move.

On a scale from 0 to 10, this ranked about a 40 on the terrifying scale. Thankfully at around 5 on Christmas evening he started kicking again and as I type he’s thumping away at my insides. He’s totally already messing with me. Clearly he’s related to his father. There are just no words to describe the relief we’re feeling today.

Today we went and looked at strollers and carriers and sheets and all thing baby at a Babies R Us before heading out of town. We are starting to narrow some things down and nearing the point where we can actually register, but strollers remain a challenge. I drove one around today that handled really well, was totally reasonably priced, has great reviews, and has the absolute worst basket. You can’t get into it, it’s small and shallow. It’s very possibly a deal breaker. The other strollers I’m interested in are not available at BRU, so I’m going to go look at another local store later this week.

There are just too many different strollers to choose from.

And now we’re just unpacking and doing some tidying. Tomorrow will be a big clean up day because we’re having friends over for dinner on Wednesday and our apartment could not possibly be more of a mess if it had to be. I’m sure it’ll be worth it for fun company, but ugh. And then it’s gift card shopping time. Because I think I have approximately 6 shirts that cover all my girth. Pregnancy and a long torso are not the easiest combination to dress, just FYI.

In all, we had a lovely weekend. We are so very blessed with wonderful families and friends and we are grateful for the time we got to spend with them this weekend. I hope you all had nice holidays and are relaxing and gradually coming out of your food and present comas.

Happy holidays again, friends.