Archive for the ‘The Hair’ Category

On Thursday, I went to the eye doctor. It had been more than a year and I had just begun to notice that I spent an inordinate amount of time squinting, both while reading and while out in the sun. So I bit the bullet and made the appointment.

They did the puff of air in the eye (I HATE that. I can’t explain why, but I hate it on a visceral level), the star wars vision fields test and finally had the exam with the optometrist. I’m farsighted like both of my parents (had glasses/contacts since age 11), and it’s always a struggle to find a way to correct my farsightedness without eliminating my distance vision. And true to form, this visit was no exception.

She decided that I needed two separate pairs of glasses- progressive lenses (hello, I’m 80 years old) for normal wear and some stronger prescriptions for computer and reading stuff. My wallet, it weeps.

And when she looked at my eyes under lights and later after they were dilated, she saw that I have one largish and one small freckle INSIDE my eyes. I’ve known about them for a while, but hey, fun fact, freckles in your eyes are really great at becoming melanoma, so we had to take a picture of it and measure it, so that it can be compared. She said that for now, they’ll check it every year. If it shows signs of growth, we can re-evaluate then.

When it was all said and done, I ended up with a set of progressives (in new frames, which, if I’m being honest look remarkably like the old ones), computer glasses (which will be in the old frames, just new lenses) and prescription sunglasses because there’s some evidence that they can reduce the melanoma risk. And of course, crazy dilated pupils that lasted for hours.

And because new glasses weren’t enough of a change, I decided that it was time for a haircut. I got my hair trimmed in July and December of last year, but prior to that, I can’t remember the last time I had a cut. And while I sort of enjoyed the long hair, it was in a wet bun 99% of the time and on the days I did want to do it, it required SO much time to blow dry and straighten.

So on Saturday I went from this (this is unstraightened, which I never really do):

To this (mind the self-portrait double chin):

I love it. It does still go back into a pony tail (that was a requirement), but it’s lighter, it’s easier and I was able to blow dry and straighten it in less then 25 minutes today, so that’s a win.

And now that I’ve gotten all of the exterior stuff upgraded, I’m hoping and praying that Wednesday’s blood patches (more on that tomorrow, I’m sure) will start some change on the inside too.

One can hope.

So yesterday, among a lot of the other things, was the 6 month anniversary of the brain surgery.

I know, I really can’t believe it either. 6 months was this magical mark that my physical therapists set in front of me, saying that thereafter, everything should be healed. And while I didn’t feel any different yesterday, I’m just so freaking glad to have reached this milestone. I am going to Disneyland next week (and I will ride the rides for the first time in 3 years, I’ve been cleared!), I had my hair done today with no pain, put a veil on and it didn’t hurt. I wanted to pinch myself.

Now being 6 months out of this surgery, I can say with complete confidence that it was the best decision I’ve made for myself. It was not easy, it may not be the path that most people would’ve taken, but it was the right one for me. It was elective surgery, but most surgeries are when you get right down to it. The difference was that in my case, the alternative wasn’t death, at least not literally, but it would’ve meant the end of me, the end of who I was, because the pain had taken a greater toll than I realized. It’s only with the hindsight of good health that I realize how bad things had gotten, and just how fortunate I am for having found a wonderful surgeon, having a remarkably supportive Fiance and very minimal complications. I am, without a doubt, incredibly blessed.

In the 6 months since the surgery, my coordination has vastly improved, my vision has gotten better (peripheral vision at least, I don’t really wanna talk about the bifocals), and above all else, my head does not hurt all the time. In fact, it doesn’t hurt most of the time. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I have many more days without any head pain, than days with it. I don’t think you can appreciate what a miracle that is until you’ve experienced it, but I feel alive.

I know I’ve said this a lot lately, but I feel like me, like I’ve been given a chance to start over and be the person I was always meant to be. I feel like the person I was a long time ago before the chronic pain. I feel like the person I was before my eyes went haywire and my reflexes got out of sync. I am not rainbows and sunshine, but I never was. But I am happy, and I am not being held down by pain, my life is being dictated by me.

All that said, I realize I’ve also been promising you a post about how you were right and I was wrong, so I’m lumping that together with this anniversary post as they are essentially on the same topic. But let me say first that not all of you were right, in fact, many were wrong wrong wrong, but I won’t point any specific fingers. Except maybe at me.

So back in December, I, for lack of a better word, freaked the fuck out about my hair. Or rather, the lack thereof. It was a combination of hormones (yea, I have some) and just generally being out of control in my life at that point. I wasn’t aloud to take a shower alone, walk down the stairs without a spot, and my head had been shaved. In a moment of weakness, I took control and cut my hair off.

Unfortunately, due to the crashing of my computer earlier this year, and my total laziness in copying The Fiance’s stock of pictures, I don’t have any pictures of my hair pre-surgery. It was about down to the top of my bra clasp strap before the surgery, pretty long for me.

And this is what the surgeon did (sorry, slightly gory…)

All the hair below the tops of my ears was gone. All of it. So this is what I did in retaliation…

I cut the rest of it. And many of you told me not to. You told me to wait. You said that while that part would probably not be long enough to be in an up-do for the wedding, I wouldn’t know until that point came and cutting off my hair was not the solution. And here it comes, get ready because I don’t say this often…

You were right. Which I suppose, hypothetically speaking, makes me, um, wrong.

Oh what a mistake it was. Oh what a mistake. I mean, it worked. I regained some measure of control in my universe and it did grow. In fact, after about 2 months, it looked like this:

Not bad. But not really growing all that quickly.

Today, at 6 months post-op, and 5 1/2 months post-stupid haircut, my hair looks like this:

Yes, it is much longer, but it is not long enough to compensate for all that is missing still.

And here’s where some of you were wrong.

My little hairs, they did not grow quickly. Someone suggested it would grow an inch a month. Lie. Big fat lie. It’s been 6 months and my hair is no where near 6 inches long. In fact, it’s probably barely 3. Don’t believe me? here’s what the underside looks like, taken minutes after the previous picture. I know, you’re jealous, you wish you could rock this hairdo

(note the bug bites on my back. What is the deal?) Yea. 6 inches my ass.

Here’s another picture from today, just in case the light wasn’t good enough in the last picture for you to see that I look like a freak-a-zoid.

It’s bad. Rather bad. Believe me. I can’t wear a normal ponytail without turning a vast number of heads and eliciting more obnoxious comments.

Today was my practice wedding hair appointment and we discovered that there’s just no way to do an up-do. I simply don’t have enough hair to compensate for the fact that 1/3 of my hair is 3 inches long. She mentioned that if I had longer hair on top, we probably could’ve worked around it. Yea yea. And she suggested extensions, but frankly, I’m way too lazy for that.

Instead she did a very lovely half-up curly do that will work perfectly. It’s not what I dreamed of, but I’m learning that weddings require you to set aside some of those things and come down to reality where you realize that can’t have a billion butterflies burst out of the plants at the very moment you kiss, or that the perfect first dance song won’t fall into your lap and subsequently please everyone.

What you should walk away from this experience with is the knowledge that I realize that you’re right, and very wise. I was way totally irrational, and way totally wrong. Oopsies. But, because of this, beginning tomorrow, I’m going to use your wisdom for a contest. So bring your thinking caps, and come back because I need you.

Seriously, based upon my current haircut, I obviously need you something fierce.

3 days post-op:

7 days post-op:

10 day post-op (post staples):

20 days post-op (today!):

20 days post-op, 10 minutes post-haircut

Here’s the real length (though curly, which it is not very often and not very curly, since I’d already put it in and then taken it out of a ponytail), post-haircut.

Now let me apologize to anyone who had dial up, because I’m pretty sure that I just killed your hard drive with slowness.

So I’m going to cut my hair. Not too much and as you’ve all pointed out I have lots of time, so it will grow plenty before the wedding and I will have plenty of options. I’m trying really hard to make it a non-issue, it’s not working as much as I’d like due to my insatiable desire to fret, but I’m working on it.

I went and spoke with the guy who cuts my hair…

Me: “I’d like it cut but I can’t really move my head much, will that be a problem?”

Him: “Uhhhh, ummm, does it hurt? Let me see it again.”

Me: “No, it doesn’t hurt I just can’t turn my head.”

Him: “Oh. Um, can I see it one more time?”

Me: “I’ll come with my hair already washed since I can’t lean back in the sink.”

Him: “Okay, um, once more?”

Me: “Do you want me to put a bandage over the incision?”

Him: “Yes! Bandage it. Yes, that would be great. Yes. I think a bandage would be a good idea….Can I look at it just one more time?”