Archive for the ‘The Fiance’ Category

I just want to quickly address this so that there are no lingering questions about it. The Fiance was infuriated with what happened last night and in general does not almost ever agree with anything his mother does. It’s not me vs. them, it’s us vs. her. He was dumbfounded and as upset as I was about her behavior last night and her rudeness in leaving today. He comforted me and he used the only real communication route he has to deal with it- his father (whom I adore, by the way) and we’ll see what happens.

I know it seems very black and white, but I promise you, with the MIL, everything is in the land of the gray. The Fiance could tell her every single rule, edict and law that she is to follow in our home, he could (and almost always does) come to my defense and explain to her the concepts of respect and kindness, but she does not hear anything and she does not do anything unless it is her idea. I could probably literally list every single example of every unkind thing she’d ever done, to her face, and I’d expect her response to be something along the lines of, “why are you picking on me?” She just lacks social skills altogether and everyone knows it. It’s not as if this is a secret that she shares only with me, it’s like the gigantic polka dotted elephant in the room at every family gathering.

At this time last year we told her she could not stay with us for Mardi Gras and we became involved in one of the worst family skirmishes ever to occur, ever and we just didn’t want to deal with it again, which is why we both decided that she could stay here. It wasn’t as if I wasn’t on the committee for this, I was, and we knew it would be tough, I think I just expected it to be a little more passive.

She cannot be controlled, which is why our interactions with her are very very limited. We see her usually 3 times a year: Christmas/Hanukkah, Jazz Fest, and the summer, The Fiance speaks with her very rarely (you should hear her ringtone, it’s like if death was to call your cell phone what you’d expect his ringtone to sound like). I have already made it crystal clear that if she treats my children the way she treats me (or him for that matter) that she will be non-existent in their lives because I will not subject my kids to that, The Fiance understands and agrees. He doesn’t want our kids to have that kind of childhood, he lived it and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I will spend the rest of my life mending the pieces that she has ripped him into because I love him, and we will do better for our children because we know better.

Please don’t mistake the tone of this post as rudeness, it’s not. I so appreciate all of you being concerned about this, I would be too if our roles were reversed, I just don’t want everyone to jump on a bandwagon against The Fiance, because truly, he’s doing everything exactly right, and I know that if he could fix this, he would. My sentiment earlier is just regret that he can’t have a mother in his life who loves and supports him and his decisions, because that’s really what a mother should be, and it’s something that we are meant to have.

It just means I have to love him more, and I’m really thankful that I get that job.

So the mystery virus continues to be mysterious. The fever is lower this evening, but not gone and now my right sinuses hurt so much every time I take a breath in I feel like someone might be hammering a nail into my face (remember the MRI? The mystery grows). Bah.

I may have mentioned a few weeks ago that out of a good-natured part of our collective hearts, which also happens to be really close to the part that doesn’t like to get in huge arguments with grown women who act like children, the Fiance and I will be entertaining his mother during Mardi Gras. For the next 10 days (honey, if you’re reading this, just stop now. I told you I’d try not to complain about her, and this is how I’m going to manage that. So really, stop reading, I won’t embarrass you, I promise. Mostly).

Ten days.

Did I also mention that embedded in her 10 day stay is my ONLY week of vacation for the spring semester of work? Or that she’s obnoxious, often rude and oh yes, hates me? Well, that’s not entirely fair, it’s not that she hates me, it’s just that she thinks that The Fiance should be out sleeping with as many women as he can so that he can get a trophy wife (yes, she said this). And also that I’m marrying him for his money (which by the way, honey, if you’re still reading, which you shouldn’t be, where is this money she’s alluding to?). Oh and stunting his potential. I’m crazy clever like a fox, in case you didn’t know.

So tomorrow she hops on her broomstick…er I mean airplane, and flies out here. If I was interested in finding the bright side I’d tell you that we’re eating at fabulous restaurants every single day (Jacques-imos, The Palace Cafe, etc), but frankly, I’m not. Frankly, I’m trying to store up on patience because I know it’s going to be in high demand. Also, I’m trying to rest because one of the things I may not have mentioned before is that The Fiance’s mother thinks that my surgery was the “worst decision ever” made. (Yea, Hitler and the Nazis, that was bad, but this surgery, the worst ever). Subsequently, while she is here I cannot utter a complaint of any variety, whether it is being sore from limboing to catch beads or if I get any manner of headache because I will literally be as good as inviting her to give me and I-told-you-so lecture. No, I’m not joking.

And lest you were curious, no, there is no point to this particular blog entry. I just needed to bitch a little bit about this and make sure to set the stage for what is sure to be at least 10 amazing days of blogging.

While playing a game of Trivial Pursuit (that I won):

The Fiance: “On the television show Beverly Hills 90210, who became angry when she found out that Kelly slept with Dylan?”

Me: “Oh! Donna! It was Donna! Donna played by Tori Spelling.”

The Fiance: “Donna was never with Dylan!”

And then his testicles both died.

I made it all the way through the day today without realizing that 1 year ago today I got engaged. I have many times made fun of how easy it is to remember our engagement date (it’s 1/11) and somehow, I um, didn’t remember. I also did not realize that we passed another milestone earlier this week- The Fiance and I have now been together for 3 1/2 years. I’m sure most people don’t celebrate half-anniversaries, but somehow The Fiance and I have only managed to spend one regular anniversary together so we usually do a little something on the halves.

It occurs to me that I’ve never shared the story of how The Fiance and I met, so hold on tight, you’re going for a ride down memory lane.

I had just returned from a semester abroad in Athens, it was the summer between my Junior and Senior years in college and I had found need for a summer job. After getting hired at an overnight camp in Los Angeles (applying while in Greece), two weeks before the job began I lied to them and told them that due to a broken ankle I wouldn’t be able to work there (you’ll see why that’s important in a minute). I just decided that overnight camp was more responsibility than I wanted and I started searching again. I found out that one of my closest college friends had gotten hired at a swanky day camp in Beverly Hills and suddenly I knew my calling. I had never gone to camp, so I am not a hardcore outdoor person, but camp in BH? That I can do.

I applied, originally for a job as a swim instructor, and ended up getting hired as a counselor for the youngest campers (ages 3 1/2 to 4). I remember mentioning to my friend who had referred me that maybe this was where I’d finally meet a good guy.

After the first night of staff training I knew I was home. I loved it and was excited for more. The second day was long, we were there from like 8 in the morning until 9 at night and the second to last thing on the agenda was a game of Capture the Flag. I readily admitted that I had never played capture the flag (hi, I’m a girl, only have sisters, we don’t like to sweat), but I jumped in and tried.

My job was guarding the flag and I took it very seriously. We won the first game and were in the middle of the second one when a huge wave of sprinters (did I mention the entire CSUN track team worked at camp?) came upon the flag area. Behind the sprinters was a non-track star, who if I had to guess probably weighed a good 250 pounds. Said 250 pound guy came flying to the flag and instead of getting out of the way like any other 130 pound girl would, I stood my ground firmly. Until he slammed into me and broke my ankle.

(Do you see why I’m afraid of lying? It never ever works out well.)

250 pound guy was not The Fiance. Once my ear-piercing screams were heard, the camp EMT was sent over and that’s when my knight in shining armor appeared. He was the EMT, I was the clumsy new staff member with the broken ankle. Is there a better match in the universe? And after getting me up to a bench with a bag of ice, he sat alone with me and the 250 pound guy who hurt himself in the collision also, and kept me company with all kinds of stories and tails of wonderment until my sister came to take me to the hospital (I drove a stick shift at the time and also couldn’t walk with the broken bone, and partially shredded ligaments and tendons).

He called me the next day to see how I was, a week later we were carpooling to and from work, two weeks later we were dating. And of course, 3 1/2 years later, we’re still living happily ever after.

Let me just say that I am so glad that I waited at the counter at the airport to move my seat so that I was sitting next to The Fiance for both flights today.

Because if I had to sit next to a perfect stranger who was comatose for 4 1/2 hours, *that* would’ve been boring…

Future Physician: “If we connected our butts together with a straw, do you think I could make you burp?”

It’s like a romantic festival every single day around here.

A few things from today that are worth mentioning.

1) I finished my anatomy lab. Hoor-freaking-ray.

2) On the way home from the lab I may or may not have turned on Christmas music. And it was oh so good. Joy to the world indeed.

3) I finally won in racquetball fair and square (he won the first game and played extraordinarily well by the way). It was quite possibly the only time this will ever happen.

4) I may or may not have hit The Fiance in the face with the racquetball again. (Oopsies)

5) I’m having brain surgery in 2 weeks. Holy crap.

So The Fiance and I went to the gym today. He almost talked me out of it, but since we didn’t go Friday or yesterday, I held firm in my resolve to be fit and not lie in the comfiness that is my bed. We got there and played racquetball like usual. He killed me the first game (14 to 1) and I may or may not have told him to go, um, vacuum, or something similar to that when he told me not to hit my racquet against a wall. Don’t try to stifle my rage, it will not be met with kindness.

About halfway through the second game, a ball came over his head and bounced right in front of me. It was the perfect shot and I was ready to back-hand the shit out of it. I cranked, I swung, I made contact and at the very moment, for some unknown, but surely stupid reason, The Fiance turned around to watch me hit…him in the eye.

Oopsies.

It’s not so much a black eye as much as a puffy upper eye-lid with blue spots. And in all fairness, usually when a ball is coming at you, you duck, or move or otherwise don’t watch the most beautiful backhand I’ve ever cranked out hit you in the eye.

And not to worry, I’ll definitely post pictures if it gets prettier.

(And I will be posting some information regarding my sister later. I just had to share this story first)

I got this Meme from Marriage-101 and I really really liked it. Especially after the wedding I went to last night, it just made me realize how very much I love him, and that since we’re getting married in 8 months (eee!) maybe you should know a little more (vastly non-personal) information about him.

1. Who is your man? The Fiance.

2. How long have you been together? 3 years and 3 months (minus 2 days).

3. How long did you date? (before getting engaged) 2 years 6 months and 2 days

4. How old is your man? 25

5. Who eats more? He eats more meal food, I eat a lot more crap.

6. Who said I love you first? I did, but it’s a story he loves. About a week and a half into our relationship we were in the car and he said “I love you too.” And I, in a very Katie-like moment, flipped out because I thought that he had thought that I said “I love you” which I had not. In fact, I had made a vow that I would not say it until well into a relationship, because several times before, my significant other had said it very early on and it made me uncomfortable. So when he said it I rambled on uncontrollably for a few minutes about how it’s too early and I wasn’t ready and other really terrible things. And after a minute or two of this, he looked at me, both bewildered and amused and said, “no, I meant the song. I love the group U2.” And then I felt like an ass and was forced to be the first to say it because he was afraid of my reaction to it when he really said it. I think it was about 6 months into dating that I said it and he reciprocated.

7. Who is taller? He is, by about 5 inches. Unless you look at my driver’s license, then he’s only 4 inches taller.

8. Who sings better? That’s a toss up. He won’t ever admit to it, but he’s a great singer. I’m not saying I’m a great singer, but I have an incredible ability to match pitch and memorize song lyrics, so sometimes it sounds like I’m a really good singer.

9. Who is smarter? He is, and if he worked to his full potential, he’d be dangerous.

10. Whose temper is worse? Tough call. We fight and argue very very differently but we’re both pretty short tempered about certain things. As a rule he doesn’t like to argue, he does however happen to be the mayor of Passive-Aggressiveland.

11. Who does the laundry? Both of us, though I’m trying to explain to him that it really wouldn’t take any more effort to throw in two little dryer sheets into the dryer before drying them. TWO LITTLE SHEETS.

12. Who takes out the trash? He does, unless there are cockroaches in it.

13. Who pays the bills? He does, I pay him and he pays the bill people.

14. Who is better with the computer? Another really tough call. I’ve had a lot of computer trouble in my life so I have a lot of knowledge about that, but he’s also a tech-dork and reads a lot about it. I’d rather do the whole figure-it-out-on-my-own and he’ll read the whole manual before opening the box. We’re different kinds of good with the computers.

15. Who mows the lawn? Our landlord.

16. Who cooks dinner? Me. Sadly, the only things he knows how to cook are eggs, which I’m allergic to, so I cook, which I actually really like most of the time.

17. Who drives when you are together? We split the driving, but he doesn’t like to drive or ride in my car because it’s a mess.

18. Who is the most stubborn? This goes back to the arguing topic. It’s really a toss up, I’m stupidly stubborn about daily things, he’s profoundly stubborn about other things. Too close to call.

19. Whose parents do you like the most? Mine, because his mother is bat-shit crazy.

20. Who kissed who first? He kissed me. We had just finished eating Islands after watching a movie at a little shopping center in Pasadena. I kept singing this really annoying camp song and he said leaned over and kissed me in a cute attempt to get the song out of my head. It was very cute and very romantic.

21. Who asked out who? He asked me. We spent a whole night talking to (he was the EMT, I had broken my ankle and I was waiting for someone to pick me up) and then he called to check up on me the next day, then we started carpooling, and then he casually mentioned that we should go see Shrek 2 since we were working with kids. And that was our first date

22. Who proposed? He did…twice. And both times were very very romantic surprises.

23. Who has more friends? We both have friends in our occupational spheres and we share some mutual friends, but neither of us are those people who have big herds of friends. But we have each other. I’d rather hang out with him any day than with a big group of friends.

24. Who has more siblings? Strictly speaking he does. He has 2 brothers and 2 sisters, but half are adopted. I have one sister and 4 step sisters, so I have more volume, but his are more closely related.

And now I’m going to go kick his ass at racquetball. (ed. note: I decided instead to let him win. I’m so nice like that.)

Today was a mediocre day by all standards, until I got home from work (at around 8pm).

I walked in the front door and smelled the delicious smells of someone cooking me dinner, and it was, by the way, was probably the best stir fry I’ve ever had. And then I noticed this HUGE box. See (note, this was taken with my camera, and I may have moved when I took it…)

And I never get packages. My roomate gets them constantly and I didn’t even hardly stop to read it, except that I figured that if it belonged to someone else it wouldn’t be sitting there anymore. AND I realized that it was from 1800flowers, and a small part of me yearned for it to have my name on it. And wouldn’t you know it, it was addressed to ME. So I opened them…

And while he finished cooking I got them in a vase. All 12 of them with their beautiful loooooong stems…

Aside from the color distortion, aren’t those just the purtiest flowers you’ve seen in a while? They smell heavenly and they’re lighting up the room as I type this (and I’ll see if I can’t get a picture with a real camera soon).

And you may be thinking, Katie, why did he cook you dinner and buy you flowers? Not to worry, because I asked the same thing, because I did not remember. Last February The Fiance said that he wouldn’t buy me flowers for Valentine’s day, due to the price and lack of originality. I said something to the effect of, well, you should send me some 6 month later because I love roses. And well, today? It’s August 14th.

You knock my socks off. Happy Un-Valentine’s Day.