Today you are six! months! old! I’m feeling pretty wistful about this today, partially because I really, truly, cannot believe how quickly you are growing, and partially because we tried to transition you to your crib last night and it was such a colossal disaster that we are all painfully exhausted all I want to do today is weep quietly in a corner. (In your defense, we did just about everything possible to set you up for failure, so I don’t blame you for your reaction. And I am beyond sorry for how traumatic it was for you (and for me). You seem no worse for the wear today, which has eased my conscience greatly. Someday if you really want to get at me, tell me your behavior is the result of your parents letting you cry. Ultimate knife to heart.)
You continue to progress pretty spectacularly with your gross motor skills this month. You’re now sitting independently most of the time, though you tend to get distracted by toys and forget that you still need to use your hands to keep yourself upright.
You are a championship roller…from back to belly. This month you mastered that but have pretty much refused to roll back, having done it only one time in recent weeks. You have also learned how to pivot on your tummy, but you kind of do these pivots in ovals, so you end up several feet from where you started without actually crawling. Speaking of crawling, you are woefully close, and have several times propelled yourself backwards a foot or two, which tends to make you angry since you’re now further from your target.
Your sleep, aside from last night, has been completely awesome this month. You regularly sleep 7-8, sometimes 9 hours a stretch, eat and then usually sleep a few more hours. Naps are a work in progress, but this month you’ve started stretching out your morning nap a bit, which is a welcome change and seems to make you feel happier too.
Your hair is really coming in a bit more this month and twice someone has commented that you’re starting to look more like me. I don’t see it yet (I really want to, though), but I do think you are by far the cutest baby there has ever been. I mean it, sorry to everyone else.
You have a new cousin now, who you are complete indifferent towards, although you did pinch her the first day you met her, so I’m going to pretend like that’s a finger hug. I know you’ll love Addie some day and you’ll probably pinch her a few hundred more times before you’re both grown.
You’re now eating solid foods every night. You absolutely hated avocado with a deep, deep passion, but we’re not sure if it was the flavor (probably, there was some dramatic gagging), or just the new experience. We’ll try it again eventually, but for now we’re pushing forward with new foods. We’re going to start giving you some things you can feed yourself this month. Your mother is a little worried about choking.
Your likes this month include: pacifier thumb, pacifier, bath time, carrots, apples, pears, your swing, your mobile, your crinkly duck, rings, your tongue, your dad (seriously, your love for your dad makes me a little jealous), your mom, your grandparents and aunt Claire, and your bottle.
Your dislikes this month include: your crib at night, being hungry, being tired, waiting for your slow mother to get more food to you, getting into your car seat, avocado, peas, socks and when the kitties run away just as you start to “pet” them.
One day last week, I walked in the door from work and you saw me and let out the loudest, most joyful squeal. I cannot even type this story without crying because it was literally the greatest thing I have ever seen and heard. That squeal, that excitement is exactly how I feel every morning when I wake up and get to see you. It’s exactly how I feel when I walk in the door from work or when you come in the door from daycare. Like my heart just wants to explode and I can hardly contain myself. It’s constantly amazing to me how much I love you.
This month I also started going to therapy because I want you to have a mother who is present. I want you to grow up without the burden of my anxiety and I want you to be the first generation in a while that doesn’t get saddled with it yourself. I want to help you be the care free child you deserve to be, instead of one with a mother who catastrophizes, who learns to do the same.* If there has ever been a testament to how much I love you it’s this, because I have spent the past decade trying to avoid going to therapy and am now going willingly. Because I want what is best for you, for our family.
Your dad and I could not be more excited to watch you continue growing, to see the little boy you’re becoming. We are practically unable to talk about, to think about, anything besides you. We love you in a way that cannot be put into words, but I hope can be felt, each and every day.
Happy 6 months, Eli. We love you and can’t wait to see what next month brings.
*Note to my mom: this was not to imply you did this to me, just to be clear.