I had a bad feeling when I got an email today that a friend’s Caringbridge page had been updated. Her family had updated earlier this week that hospice had been started, but I had thought there would be a bit more time. Today, Sue, who commented here for as long as this blog has been around, completed her battle with cancer. I can’t say she lost it because she has time and again beaten it back, but that battle is now over for good, unfortunately not in the way we had all hoped.
I never met Sue in person, but I’ve known her since 2006. She’s been a rock of support, even as she struggled with cancer, more cancer, relapses and more complications than should be allowed. She commented here (as the always wise Sue G) with great frequency until around April, when she went quiet. I now know that her cancer had returned and reading had become a challenge.
Sue followed my life closely, offering support whenever I seemed like I might need it and a firm kick in the butt when I needed that too. Until my own mother started reading here, she was basically my internet mom, giving me perspective and tough love, keeping me grounded in reality. I never knew her, but she meant an awful lot to me.
There were many times where her wisdom made a big difference for me, where she reminded me of why I was in school, why I was still fighting. Where she reminded me of what was really important, and for that I am forever grateful for her.
In March, she commented and said, “Feel well, rest, and know that soon this will be over and you will be embarking on a new journey, one in which you will thrive and glow and grow. Can’t wait to hear your mommy blog.” And I’m selfishly sad she never got to. I wish she were able to offer support and suggestions for the challenges I’m sure to face with Eli, not because I don’t have enough mothers in my life, but because it really does take a village, and I really wanted her to be a citizen of mine.
If I take nothing else from the friendship I had with Sue, it’s the importance of supporting those you care about. Even with just a few words, just a note to let one know you’re thinking of them. I feel like I didn’t hold up my end of our friendship enough, especially in the past few months where I have been entirely self-involved, but I hope she knew how much I appreciated her and thought about her. And I hope to honor Sue by being that person for others around me. I was blessed by her role in my life and I hope to be able to be that supportive, loving force for others.
I know I speak for many of us when I say how sad I am about this news. But I’m glad that my friend is no longer in pain, no longer struggling and is where she belongs.
Rest in peace, Sue G. I will miss your loving voice of reason and think of you often, especially on those days when you’d say I’m being too hard on myself. This blog simply won’t be the same without you.