Elijah: Month One

June 11th, 2012

Eli-

I’m writing this with the intention of putting it in your baby book. It should be noted that you are one month old today and this baby book has not yet been purchased…or looked for because your parents are big time procrastinators. But we have already taken (seriously) over 500 pictures of you, so trust me we’re documenting your life anyway.

You have been out in the world for 31 days now, a whole month, which seems so old for someone so brand new. I can still remember every detail of your birth, every insane moment of that day. I can hardly believe it’s been a whole month and yet, I feel like I’ve known you forever. Like you’ve always been here.

I’ve finally started to figure out some of your patterns and cues, though we’re both still learning. You are extremely passionate when it comes to food. You will put your hands in your mouth to signal you’re hungry and if we do not produce food in the next 7 seconds you commence screaming. And as everyone who has visited can attest to, it is not subtle or gentle. And you turn bright red and get so hot that I am constantly convinced you are going to overheat. I don’t even want to talk about the breath holding and subsequent purple face shenanigans. Passionate, I tell you.

You like to do this blissful thing called cluster feeding, but instead of doing it for a few days like other babies, you like to do it every night. So you’ll go all day with 3-4 hours between feeds and then the clock strikes 8pm and you feel the need to eat every hour until you crash at around 11 or midnight. Our evenings involve a lot of crying.

After you finally go to sleep you are an absolute awesome nighttime sleeper. You will sleep for 3-4 hours before eating and then usually go back to sleep pretty quickly, all the way until 10 or 11 in the morning. Much to everyone’s dismay, you and I are pretty much cosleeping every night. We’re trying to get you to sleep in your bunny bed, but you sleep best on me and I care way more about us sleeping than I care about your sleep habits right now. And if we’re being honest, I love the snuggles a lot.

In the past week you have started smiling intentionally and it is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Though it would be really nice if you would smile for your father. He got a half smile for the first time tonight, but considering that you’ll even smile at relative strangers now, you’re going to need to throw him a bone and give him a real one.

Your current loves are milk, mom, dad, milk, Soothies pacifiers, milk and baths. Your current hates are my boobs, naps longer than 10 minutes, waiting for milk, wet diapers, any kind of pacifiers besides the Soothies ones, and being in your carseat if the car is not moving at least 40 miles per hour.

Everyone says you’re so small, but to me you’re a giant now. You almost fit into the 0-3 month clothes and you finally fill out the newborn stuff. I think you look like your father’s mini-me except for my hands and feet, though my family swears they see bits of me in you. We’ll see as you grow up, but your father’s family has some crazy strong genes, so I’m not holding out much hope for mine.

You make the most adorable noise when you get your pacifier (it sounds like you’re saying ale ale ale, and it kills me dead), but you have a very hard time keeping it in your mouth because you constantly pull it out. And then cry because it’s not in your mouth. We do this dance approximately 50 times a day.

(If the video won’t show up for you, you can see it here)

More than anything of the things I’ve shared so far, you need to know how loved you are. They don’t make words to describe how much I love you, and I know the same goes for your dad and grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins. It is almost unbelievable how many people love you and how fiercely they do so.

You have changed every part of my life. You made me a mother, you made us a family. We could no more live without you now than we could live without oxygen and the idea of it is impossible to comprehend in every way.