You guys, we have reached a critical mass. I have not slept through an entire night (and I’m not talking about getting up to pee, because that has been a constant since literally the day after I got a positive pregnancy test) in close to a month. The first one of you who tells me that this is preparing me for motherhood is forever banned from commenting, because dude, THAT IS NOT HELPFUL.
It started out kind of slowly. I would wake up with aching hips, which have been a problem for a few months now and would struggle to go back to sleep. Sometimes it wasn’t so bad, especially on a weekend, I could just turn on a tv show and let them kind of calm down. But on weeknights it was always frustrating because I knew how hard the morning would be. But at least the hours I was awake were pretty tolerable.
Not so much anymore.
Lately I’m up for hours with heartburn, or heartburn and nausea, or heartburn, nausea and hip pain. Last night I had the worst stomachache I’ve had in a long time and had to spend a solid 10 minutes making sure the stomach cramps weren’t from my uterus (they weren’t). It was 2 hours before I got back to sleep and considering I had only gotten 5 hours of broken sleep the night before, I really really needed the rest.
I am completely prepared for the idea of being up all night with a baby. I am not prepared to be up all night with a stomachache every night for weeks. When still working. And still pregnant. With an angry uterus. I do not need any extra stress in my life.
I really don’t want to resort to sleeping on the chaise couch thing that is kind of upright (to reduce the acid reflux) that we have in the nursery because a) I actually really like sleeping beside my husband (most nights) and b) I think the cats will not know what to do with themselves. Although, on the upside, the cats might not know who to pester at 4:30 am for food, and that might mean more sleep then, so I may revisit this. But it’s looking like a move to sleeping there is in my near future. Either that or giving up sleeping altogether, which isn’t much of a sacrifice at this point.
Work is getting to be hard and realizing that I still have 9 weeks to go is even tougher. I struggle to imagine I’m going to make it through the full 16 weeks at this point, if not physically than mentally, because of the way I already feel now. I want to make it, because the last thing I want is to not graduate on time and have to return to a non-paid clinical after the baby is born and delay my board exam, but obviously the most important thing is my health and the health of my baby.
I knew that the glorious second trimester was going to have to come to an end, I just didn’t realize that the end would be a screeching halt into a totally less pleasant place. Insomnia, heartburn and contractions are all taking some getting used to. Though if we’re being honest, I’m trying really hard not to get used to any of them, in hopes that they’ll all just go away.
What, a girl can dream right?
(And yes, this whole blog post was one big whine session. I am not sorry. Mostly.)