(That title sounds a little like a zombie’s diet, no?)
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my neurologist. I made the appointment months ago when I was in the middle of a horrible headache cycle. I’m pretty thrilled to say that my head has actually been pretty good for the past month. Apparently pregnancy agrees with one part of my body.
I’m still going to the neurologist even though the headaches are better because I have a few pressing questions for her. And I decided I may as well go now and have these conversation instead of putting it off.
When I was initially diagnosed with Chiari I was told I wouldn’t be able to give birth naturally. The thing about Chiari is that you don’t want to do anything to increase the pressure in your head. And while I have never tried to push a baby out of my nethers, I understand that it takes a bit of force. And that force absolutely increases the pressure in your head. So the worry is that in pushing you’ll be basically also pushing your brain even further out of your skull. That’s not so much a bundle of joy as much as a bundle of holy crap.
My husband, (who’s a practicing neurologist right now) is of the opinion that because I’ve had the decompression surgery and I actually have chronically low intracranial pressure, that delivering a baby won’t be a problem for my brain. I tend to think that he’s probably right (whoa, did I just actually type those words?) I mostly just want the blessing of someone who has looked at several of my MRIs and can give me an objective opinion.
The second part of what I need to talk about is trickier. I have a really rough history with needles in my spine. Every time someone puts one in there, I spring a leak. A leak of spinal fluid, which is NOT something you ever want to leak. So the whole epidural thing is a a bit of a concern. I worry that getting one will result in another spinal fluid leak that will wreak further havoc on my already sagging brain. Simultaneously I worry that there is no way in hell I can give birth to a kid without one.
I have never been jazzed about the idea of them in the first place because I hate being numb so very much, but the thought of the pain is also not all that appealing.
I might also discuss with her if there’s any reason why my headaches would be better now, pressure wise. Obviously there’s a hormonal possibility, but since my headaches were never hormonally charged before it’s hard to imagine that it was driven by that in the first place. I’m wondering if the increased circulation could be a part of the solution, but I realize it could also be about 20 other factors, so hopefully she’ll have some insight.
And if nothing else, it’s another person I’m allowed to actually say, out loud, that I’m pregnant to. Despite spilling it to all of you, I haven’t gotten to say it out loud that many times yet. I know that there will come a time for telling, but it’s still fun in the meantime.
Hopefully this appointment is full of as much good news as the last one. Well okay, since there will be no baby viewing it’s unlikely, but hopefully there will still be good news anyway.