As I was attempting to mentally pack for my trip, I realized that the transportation of pills to BlogHer this year was going to be different than in years past, primarily because I now have a whole lot more of them. The great irony is that though I’m taking more pills each day, all the pills I am taking daily are non-prescriptions. They are all vitamins and supplements, but ones that my doctor has prescribed and that I’ve gotten through my pharmacy.
In trying to figure out how to pack the pills I realized that it was time. Time for a thing I have long avoided. The pill sorter.
Hi, I’m my grandma.
After I filled all the cells for the days I’d be gone, and to be honest, I had to put some AM pills into the PM box because THEY DIDN’T ALL FIT, I realized that that wasn’t even all the pills I needed to bring with me. The pills in the box are only my daily meds, and there are a whole lot of other “as needed” ones that need to be brought along too.
I try really hard not to let health stuff get me down more than it has to, though some days that easier than other. And it’s worth mentioning that the past few days have actually been good ones. The headaches have been totally bearable, for which I am extremely grateful. But when I take a look at all those pills, of how big a role medicine plays in my life, I just feel old. I feel worn.
I feel like I’m falling apart at 28 years old.
I look at my friends on Facebook and I see pictures from their hikes, their marathons, their pictures of their kid(s), I see these lives and I feel like I’m both behind them and ahead of them. Like in some ways I haven’t reached that point in my life and in other ways, I’ve already passed it up.
I know clamoring for normal isn’t a healthy thing to do, I know that it won’t get me anywhere. But that doesn’t stop me from wishing for it anyway.