If you’re expecting to read about anything other than my brain this week you will be sorely disappointed.
I went to the pharmacy to pick up my new medications today (she prescribed 2 other supplements besides the Vitamin A) and they had flagged my order as needing a pharmacist consultation. This is nothing new, if I hadn’t just moved, I’m certain the pharmacist would’ve seen me coming and been all, ok Katie, what’s the prescription for this time? I feel like I live in the pharmacy.
But instead the pharmacist came out looking concerned.
He told me that he had never been asked to fill Vitamin A at the levels of my prescription and that he is worried because there are a lot of things that can go wrong when you take this much. He asked me why I was taking it and I gave him a Cliff’s Notes version of my medical history. He seemed to understand, but persisted with his concern. Apparently high levels of Vitamin A can cause intractable nausea/vomiting, neuro symptoms, hydrocephalus and several other things.
You know. No big deal. Who knew a vitamin could be such a problem?
He handed me my prescription but added one request. He asked me if I would come back next month (which, of course I will, I have five other prescriptions to refill) and tell him how it worked out. I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I have never had a pharmacist worried about me, or request a follow up. I think I might officially be a guinea pig. Also, very scared.
The truth is that these medications worry me. In fact, they worry me enough that I’m not going to try them until the weekend. I’m going to take the Vitamin A at night in hopes of sleeping through any ugliness it might cause. The other supplements might cause stomach issues of a different variety, which really, I mean if I’m going to have intractable vomiting, I may as well have the opposite problem too. Why the hell not.
I’m trying to keep my chin up and be optimistic, but damn, I hate the idea that I might have to feel a lot crappier to feel better. I have learned how to cope with headache pain, but nausea and I have never really seen eye to eye, so managing that will be a different struggle for me, silly though it may seem.
I know that some of you are frustrated that I’m so wishy washy about this. I know it seems like I’m being ungrateful. I’ve been offered a fix and I’m hesitating to take it.
And all I can tell you is that it just isn’t that simple. I want to feel better more than anything, but I have learned from many many trials with drugs that they almost never do that. In fact, most of them come with side effects that are tougher to manage than the pain. Most of them don’t fix the problem and it’s really an issue of how long I can tolerate the side effects before they become as much of a problem as the pain.
So please understand that I’m not looking for things to be unhappy about. I’m not looking for trouble, I’m not trying to be pessimistic. I greatly appreciate having so many of you as cheerleaders as we set out on the next phase of this journey through headache hell and I am trying my hardest to find my excitement too.