The 10 most annoying things you are doing on twitter
Sigh. Twitter. I really do not know what to do with you. There are some days when you are just insufferable. And yes, there are other days when you are magnificently supportive and hilarious and informative, but mostly right now, I want to run screaming away from you forever or at least until tomorrow. And before you call me grouchy which I probably am, know that I have run these issues past other friends on the internet, and it’s not just me.
The 10 most annoying things you are doing on twitter:
1. Twitter is a totally fine place to link to your latest blog post, in fact, if you’re anything like me, you probably get a big chunk of your traffic from your friends on twitter. And though I try not to do it often, I have no problem with you tweeting about your new post again 12 hours after the first time. BUT, there is NO REASON you need to tweet about your blog post 4 times in an hour. If someone wants to read what you’re writing, they will. If they’re anything like me, most likely, after the 3rd time you’ve tweeted it, people like me vow to never read your blog again.
2. Along the same sort of lines is retweeting yourself. Just don’t do it. It makes you look like a raging narcissist. You can tweet something again, but seriously, take the 30 seconds and type it back out.
3. Don’t ask all your followers to nominate or vote for you in a contest unless it’s really important to you. I’m going to be 100% honest with you that no one cares about your kid’s picture in the contest for a parenting magazine’s cute kid of the month. And we also think it’s stupid that you want to be nominated in for a twitter award in the bacon category.
4. Twitter is not the place for an argument. I’m not talking about a discussion or a disagreement about a topic, but if you dislike someone and feel like you absolutely have to scream something at them, do it over email. It just puts all the rest of us in an uncomfortable situation and probably we don’t care about your argument at all.
5. It is possible to overtweet a cause. And when you do, it makes me want to go buy the thing you’re boycotting in massive quantities. Tweet about things that are important to you, but don’t hit us over the head with them all the time.
6. No one, and I mean NO ONE wants to know that you just had sex. Please God no.
7. Posting a picture of your kid or your animal’s excrement is absolutely NOT OKAY. There are just some things that do not need to be shared.
8. I’m a huge champion of breast self exams, but the “Boobie Wednesday” avatars that show off your entire boobs save for your nipple are really freaking awkward. There are better ways to encourage breast exams than to make your avatar one step away from pornography.
9. If someone unfollows you and you notice (or use a program that tells you) it is incredibly awkward if you call them out for it. It’s one thing to tweet the person and ask if you’ve done something wrong (though I’m not gonna lie, that’s awkward too), but it’s so many times better than “I really didn’t want @yourmom following me anyways.” Don’t be that person
10. I will never care that you are the mayor of your local jiffy lube or that you just got the purple smoothie badge at Jamba Juice. I don’t care what you’re listening to and really do not need your computer to autotweet every song it plays, nor do I give a flying freak what your horoscope is for the next day. Turn off autotweets on your programs.
So did I miss any? (And if your answer is that I missed how annoying it is when people tweet about posts about twitter or post 3500 pictures of their cats then all I can say is touche. And also bite me.)
44 Responses to “The 10 most annoying things you are doing on twitter”
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Welcome! I'm Katie, a 28 year old, full-time graduate student who just happened to have brain surgery in November of 2007 to give my ginormous brain a little more space. This blog chronicles my daily life, from relentless headaches to being a doctor's wife. Sit down, get comfortable and stay for a while.
You don’t post ENOUGH pictures of your cats.
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3, 4 and 6 I think I may have broke. Well maybe not 3. I just asked to be voted for a shorty award just because I have no idea what it is and I see it tweeted all the time as a joke. Massive fail I guess huh…
I hope to totally get laid tonight and I promise not to post any pictures. Promise. Totally. But I might post some of my cat, but not of her in litter box because that would be so inappropriate.
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Katie Reply:
January 11th, 2011 at 9:06 pm
@Kim @ Beautiful Wreck, HA. It’s okay if you’ve broken the rules, I’m sure I’ve broken several of them from time to time.
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6,7,8,9 you obviously run in very different twitter crowds eep.
As for the blog posts, I post to my blog at weird hours (hello procrastination) so I try to promote overnight, towards lunch (eastern) and after dinner…breaks the 12 hour rule, but at least it’s not every 5 freaking minutes.
Almost as bad? Beating a dead horse by promoting an old tweet repeatedly. It’s not that good. If it is, I already know about it.
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Oh, holy cripes. There’s a program that auto-tweets the music you’re listening to? Consider yourself super-fortunate that my trouble-making spouse doesn’t know about that or it would be on my computer (as a joke, of course) to see how long it would take for me to figure it out.
I cannot imagine how much you would hate me for the day I had “You’re A Mean One, Mister Grinch” by the Glee Cast on auto-repeat while grading finals
. Why yes, I do have an over-developed sense of irony 
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Holy geez. Boobie Wednesday? Clearly I am not following the right people.
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My DH follows people who do boobie wednesday. Must be a guy thing…
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Brilliant. Going to retweet this now. Happily, that is not on your list!
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I think you covered just about everything.
I totally agree on 6 and 10!! Just no to both and 6 is really EWWWW. Similar to 1 and 2, what is the deal with retweeting everyone who mention you in their follow fridays or tweet about your blog post? If I already follow you, I don’t care if other people say to follow you and if you already tweeted your blog post a couple of times, I don’t need to see how many other people tweet it too.
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Katie Reply:
January 11th, 2011 at 11:15 pm
@mommabird2345, YES. That is an all time twitter pet peeve. If I already follow you, you are not acquiring any new followers by retweeting your own follow Friday.
I just don’t get it.
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I could not love you more right now. Truly.
I feel all weird if I tweet my blog link twice. If I do, it’s many hours in-between.
I’d like to add: no one cares how many followers you have or how many you want to have. You don’t win at life if you get 2 bazillion tweets. But people will RT it anyway.
Oh and people who almost never have an original thought, they just RT everyones else.
Sigh. One more. If you don’t want a TV show talked about? You dont want to know what the commercial is or who talked to who? Or you will get super annoyed when make up shit for a show I’ve never even heard of? Get OFF of Twitter.
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Katie Reply:
January 11th, 2011 at 11:17 pm
@Issa, Ha, now, see I’m with you on the number of followers and constant retweeting. But as someone who lives in the latest time zone and usually can’t get on twitter until exactly 8pm on the eastern coast/7pm central when all the tv shows start? I find it infuriating when people tweet spoilers. It’s just not that difficult to not spoil the show. One day I want to get advanced information about a whole bunch of shows and get on twitter right before they air on the East coast and central time zones and spoil EVERYTHING. Because you guys have no idea. It is so obnoxious.
But other than that, yea. Totally. I’m with you.
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Nanette Reply:
January 11th, 2011 at 11:24 pm
@Katie, OMG, I have to agree about the damn East Coasters spoiling it for us on the West Coast. I’ve learned to stay off Twitter & FB during season finales, but when folks spoil stuff during the middle of the season? Pisses me off.
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EmmieJ Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 12:38 am
@Nanette, me too! (also: hate when commenters make comments without reading the other comments ahead of theirs and then say the same thing, EMMIE!!!!! gah!) (realted: my bad.)
Issa Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 9:00 am
@Katie, I actually don’t tweet spoilers. Really though, most people don’t. Those who do are jerky, I’ll so agree to that.
What I really meant was the people who will get online….lets use last years season finale of Grey’s as an example. Okay, so no one in my stream was doing anything except making sounds. Seriously. It was hysterical. But there were a few certain people who got their panties in a bunch and continued to yell at everyone for HOURS before it came on at their house. And still….no one had ruined it. But the sound effects were pissing them off. That? Is when I think people need to step away from teh Twitter.
ps. I’m not east coast either. I’m only an hour ahead of you guys.
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heather... Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
@Issa, You are following awesome people. I have had sooooooo many shows spoiled. So. Many.
Headless Mom Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 1:05 pm
@Katie, Spoilers are my BIGGEST Twitter pet peeve. I may unfollow you if you do it. Oy, I hate it. (Issues much?)
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Headless Mom Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 1:06 pm
@Headless Mom, Wait, not you as in Katie, but you as in someone from the eastern timezones that does it. Gah!
I think you’ve covered it pretty well. Hopefully I haven’t broken any of the commandments.
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I feel better about myself now. Thank you.
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Rickrolls. I fucking hate those things. Just post a useful link, man. Don’t get all clever and trick me into watching a Rick Astley video. I’m never going to trust you again.
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Katie Reply:
January 11th, 2011 at 10:16 pm
@Backpacking Dad, hahahaha.
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YES.
Although, twitter has unfollowed some people FOR ME, and then the person has said, “Uh, did you unfollow me?” And I didn’t, and I was glad to have been told.
But.
Also.
I have unfollowed people, had them ask same question, and given same answer, cuz…dammit. I’m a wuss.
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Kim @ Beautiful Wreck Reply:
January 11th, 2011 at 10:48 pm
@Jenny Grace, Ut oh…
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Katie Reply:
January 11th, 2011 at 11:18 pm
@Jenny Grace, hahahaha.
(Me too Jenny Grace, me too)
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Issa Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 9:02 am
@Jenny Grace, Hehehe, me too. I’ve so done that. ::wusses fistbump::
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I agree! You do not post enough kitty pictures!
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How about 2500 cat pictures? I also give dog photos equal footing. Oh Em Gee the new puppy is adorbs, we get it.
Also, yes x 10
And don’t RT someone’s RT of you. Just come right out and repeat your brilliance.
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I’m a parent and pet owner and am also completely apalled by #7. W?T?F? People actually do that?!?!?!
Also? Do not retweet old news during a breaking story. Seriously. I’ve witnessed this before but Saturday once again proved the point. If you’re not following a shit ton of media outlets, let the media outlets report the news and blame your idiotic followers who don’t follow any of them for missing the latest story. But for God’s sake do not tweet that someone died HOURS after the ENTIRE. WORLD. knows they didn’t.
No RT old news correlary: If someone is on Twitter and doesn’t know about @breakingnews, they don’t deserve to know what’s happening as it breaks. Dear God, please stop retweeting them.
Finally (and I’ll likely piss off some of my fellow Pacific time zone friends with this one), but Twitter operates in real time. Please don’t expect people in Europe not to tell you that the sun is going to rise tomorrow when it’s today for them. I’m sorry that the major networks don’t show West Coasters the same shows at the same time as East Coasters but do you really expect that people won’t tweet what they’re watching in real time just because you live further west? Shoot, at least we got the lunar eclipse before midnight.
*am now going to run and hide for that last comment*
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Katie Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
@EmmieJ, I don’t care if people say they are watching a show, but I do think it’s kind of rude to spoil it. I mean, why do you even need to tweet what’s happening in a show? Can we dissect that one a bit? I’ve never really had a desire to do a live blog of a tv show because dude, just watch it and shut up about it! You can say you liked a show, you hated it, you were ambivalent, but don’t tell us the big plot twist.
Drives me crazy.
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I could not agree more with this list! I especially hate it when people call others out for unfollowing them. Its just soooo 3rd grade.
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Ok, so I do sometimes break the rule of tweeting my latest blog post, because I’ll post it in the morning and evening for my East and West coast friends, and sometimes, if it was “important” I’ll tweet it once more the next day. WHOOPS. I’ll work on that
But, OH MY GAH, when 2 people I follow have a detailed discussion about meeting up for coffee/movie/lunch I want to smack them both over the head. Text. Email. Call. But seriously, the rest of us don’t need to know that you are running late, and blah blah blah STFU.
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Ok, who the heck do you follow? Boobies? Pics of poo? I think it’s time you do a twitter enema and clean that place up!
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I agree that you don’t post enough pictures of my internet cat. I am sure I have broken some of the rules but I want to stab you if you RT people who recommended you for follow Friday.
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Not only do I completely agree, I totally just assigned the first three items on this list to them same terrible Twitter-person. I mean, maybe this person is a good person in real life or whatever, but when the first three items on a “Things that suck on Twitter” list apply directly to you, I am pretty sure you are a terrible Twitter-person.
I probably wouldn’t like her in real life, either. I was just being nice.
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Hey! Go read my latest post! It has pictures of my kids! The one before that has a picture of a clown! And a creepy dummy! Now cats, though.
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I feel guilty when I stop following someone I like, but sometimes the volume just gets to be too much much and I need a break (esp. when other folks I follow retweet them frequently). Usually once life settles down I readd them. I’m a fickle beast.
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Katie Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 6:23 pm
@elisabeth, I totally get that. I am rarely offended when people unfollow me because I know I tweet a lot. If it’s someone that I know really well, I’ll sometimes send an email to make sure I haven’t offended them. But there’s nothing wrong with unfollowing, I think I need to be better about it.
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Now I’m scared. I was considering doing twitter. I know I’m a little late to jump on the Twitter bandwagon. But I’m just scared now, esp with the exam photos. Eeek! I get that its for a good cause, but really?
And also, love the kittie pictures. Cat people are cool & that’s all there is to it
I’m a dork but whatever, I’m sick of people telling me that they hate cats. My cats annoy me too, but ONLY I can say that!
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You hit the nail on the head. I’m RT’ing this.
Heh
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Sometimes I tweet what songs I play all day. Because I am bored. Or I wonder who remembers that particular song & likes it too. Other days, I forget all about it. It all depends on my mood.
FYI – Listening to: Eric Clapton – Change the World :-p
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I FourSquare and it tweets, I don’t overuse it though, so I don’t think you’re talking to me on this one AT ALL!!! LOL
Also, I hate the people that BITCH and BITCH and BITCH on Twitter all day long. You know the ones, their entire stream is woe is me, I’m so miserable, negative, negative, negative. Do they ever talk about anything else. If you’re that miserable ALL THE TIME…I really don’t want to hear about it. So I unfollow!
And boobie wenesday, really? How have I never seen this?
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AGREE AGREE AGREE with #9!
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9 and 10, all the way. I’m on the very edge of unfollowing people on Twitter and unfriending people on Facebook who use Foursquare. I do not give a shit that you are the mayor of your own house, or anywhere else for that matter.
Also, someone recently called me out for unfollowing them. I think it’s incredibly narcissistic anyway to use any kind of unfollow notification app, but it’s really, really awkward when they bring it up. I’m always kind of baffled. Like, does it really bother you that much?! Sigh.
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