So, the insurance year restarted last month which means a few awesome things for me.

1) The out-of-pocket maximum cost that I met last year is all gone and we’re starting anew
2) I need new referrals for all my specialists.

Both of which are a real treat, trust me.

Last Thursday I scheduled an appointment with the student health center to get new neurology and neurosurgery referrals. I hadn’t picked out a doctor yet, but I wanted the papers so that I could figure it out and start scheduling asap, because these headaches? are seriously not fooling around anymore. Holy God.

The doctor I see at the health center there has met me, um, twice? if that many times, but he remembered that I had neurological stuff and recommended an outside neurologist at an institution that I’ve been considering lately, let’s call it, um, You See El Aye. Subtle, right?

So on Friday, I called You See El Aye to schedule an appointment. They asked me if I had a You See El Aye identification number, which, um, no. So I needed to call their 1-800 number to get an ID number and then fax them my referral and then call them back to schedule.

Right. So I got the ID number, faxed the referral from my apartment complex office (the nearest free-est fax machine) and called them back to schedule where, after waiting on hold for 22 minutes, I learned that it takes 24-48 hours to process a fax because it’s 1985 and it apparently takes that long to get information. Oh wait, no, IT’S NOT.

STAB.

Fine. So I called back on Monday to schedule. But this time, I couldn’t schedule because they decided that my referral needed to be reviewed by a case manager. I DON’T EVEN HAVE AN APPOINTMENT, HOW CAN I NEED A CASE MANAGER?!? GAH.

Again, I did as I was told and called later Monday afternoon to discover that the case manager had decided that they needed more information to place me with the right You See El Aye neurologist. And as soon as my doctor faxed the form back, I’d be good. Which worked out SUPER well since they faxed the referral to MY APARTMENT COMPLEX.

STAB STAB STAB.

FINE. I called back Tuesday and found that my doctor hadn’t returned the form (that they resent to his office after I pointed out that my apartment complex would be profoundly worthless in my health woes) and I tried to explain that this doctor doesn’t know me from Adam and therefore would be totally useless for this purpose. But they were unconvinced and continued to insist that this doctor would be able to help. They’ve obviously never met him.

But better yet, I was told that the whole reason we’re doing this extra form is because they don’t really want to see me, they want to send me over to neurosurgery. Because they don’t treat Chiari Malformation and apparently if you want medical not surgical management you are shit. out. of. luck.

STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB.

I tried to call the neurosurgery office to speak to them but they’re only open from 9 to 4 (note to self: in next life, be a neurosurgeon). So that was helpful.

And now I’m still waiting for my doctor to return the form so that I imagine I can be told I cannot see a neurologist any way and I’ve just wasted a week of my life, spent literally HOURS on the phone and in the end will not have a doctor at all AND will get to restart this whole fucking process again with neurosurgery.

Did I mention STAB? Because yea, that.

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