So I started to write this last night, but stopped myself. But I’m writing it tonight. Even though I shouldn’t. Because I know better, and yet, I don’t care.

There was a bit of a skirmish last week on twitter, one I was not a part of, nor one that I firmly grasp all the various angles of. But there are people on both sides, who are irritated. And one of the more interesting things that I’ve seen come out of it are the blog posts that seem to indicate that disagreeing with someone from your internet community is wrong.

Uh, what?

Disagreement, in it’s true form, is benign, in fact, I wouldn’t hesitate to say that it’s primarily a good thing. Discussion, discourse and disagreements all force us to consider our perspectives and ideals. They allow us to consider things from someone else’s point of view. And how all of that is not a good thing, I don’t know.

But there is a difference between disagreement and being a “troll.” (For the record, I am not, in any way, shape or form saying that people involved in this twitter issue are trolls. Not even a little, I know so little about what initially happened that I cannot even begin to offer a bit of opinion on that.) And that’s really what I want to talk about.

When I started this blog, I always said I would publish all non-spam comments unless they were attacking other readers here. I put myself out there to be judged and criticized, and while it hasn’t always been easy, I made that choice and I’ve stood by it for nearly 3 years now.

I know that some of you don’t believe me, but honestly, I have no problem with someone thinking I’m doing something wrong. I have no problem with people who have different opinions than I do. In fact, I expect both of those. And disagreement isn’t a bad thing.

But that’s just not the same as people who live to cut others down. People who don’t leave their name but leave a nasty comment. Chances are, if you’re not willing to put your name on it, you shouldn’t be saying it. You can tell me that you think I’m making the wrong decision without calling me stupid. And every time you resort to name calling instead of being civil, your point is completely lost. I tune out everything you say as soon as the tone has turned ugly. Every. single. time.

And that’s where things are changing. I’m not publishing comments from hateful people anymore. They add nothing to this blog, they make me a version of myself I don’t like. And I’m just over it. I will happily post any comments that disagree with me or others respectfully, but the moment that respect is gone, so is your comment. Period. And if you continue to leave nasty comments after I’ve deleted others, I’ll just block you from this site entirely.

I’m not entirely sure what to do about twitter. I don’t think I’m perfect, but having someone who I’ve blocked from my stream continue to read through my tweets and talk about me (and really, not just talk about me, but rather call me things like “idiot asshole” for a typo, or tell me that I’m an asshole for switching religions, or accuse me of asking him anonymous questions on formspring (uh, hi, I have better things to do with my time, don’t flatter yourself)), is just not okay. It’s such a second grade act that I don’t even know how to address it as an adult.

So the only logical conclusion I’ve come to is to not address it. I’m not reading his twitter stream anymore. If a google alert pops up from him again, I’ll ignore it. I’m not going to feed this person anymore of my time and angst. He’s not worth it. I tried reasoning and I tried politely asking him to stop, it’s clear that he’s neither reasonable or polite and so I’m done trying. I’m done caring.

And more than that, I’m going to go back to blogging the way I used to, the way I always intended to- for me. Completely ignorant of statistics, page views, feed subscribers and all that crap. I’ve noticed lately that as soon as people start blogging for a reason other than the pure desire to write, the writing suffers, and it really doesn’t matter how many people come to your site if there’s nothing worth reading on it.

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m going back to writing for me. I’m going back to what I always intended this blog to be. I spend so much time worried about what people will think, how people will judge me for what I write. I worry that I whine too much or don’t spend enough time making people laugh. But this is my blog, these are my words, my stories. And I’m writing them because I want to.

It’s time for blogging to stop being about other people, or about money or attention. It’s time for bloggers to stop cutting each other down and act like adults. And more than anything else, it’s time for blogging to be about the writing and the support and the stories.

The way it used to be.

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