Hope for tomorrow
I stumbled across someone’s twitter page the other day, I have no idea how I found it, but it was a father whose son had been diagnosed with type I diabetes. He had tweeted repeatedly that while they were seeking medical treatment, what they were really waiting for was God to heal his son. He believed that miracles not only happen, but that one was absolutely going to happen to his son.
The tweets sort of caught me off guard. And before long I began to realize that as terrible as it sounds, what frightened me the most was the realization that, deep down, I do not believe in miracles.
I’m not sure when I reached this point of cynicism, but I’m clearly there. I believe that people can make amazing come backs in terms of health and impending disasters, and I think that there are things that modern medicine cannot always explain, but I do not believe that miracles happen every day, if at all.
I don’t think that this man’s son is going to be healed of diabetes because he’s praying for it. I don’t believe that a deaf man at a concert accepted Christ and suddenly had hearing again. I just don’t.
I think that miracles, if there are any, are few and far between. I think they don’t happen simply because you wish and hope that one will, or that you pray endlessly for it. If that was the case, how many miracles would’ve been performed this year? How many children would’ve been spared disease and death? How many families would’ve been spared suffering and sadness?
It can’t be as simple as prayer.
Too many children and husbands and wives die in the midst of storms of prayers for it to simply be an issue of prayer. Too many natural disasters take too many lives. Too many good, faithful, righteous people die for it simply to be a matter of faith.
I guess I don’t understand how there can be miracles when good people suffer and die. I can’t believe in miracles in healing when so many people don’t get that. I can’t trust that there’s a heavenly fix when so many need it and so few receive it.
It’s not that I don’t think that prayer isn’t powerful (it is) or that there isn’t a God (I believe there is), I just don’t think that there are miracles. I think that there are logical explanations for much of what happens in life, I think that expecting prayer to heal a child with diabetes is crazy. I think that hoping for miracles sets you up for a lifetime of disappointment and perhaps I’ve reached the point where I can’t handle that disappointment any longer.
In a way, miracles feel like Santa Claus to me. There something that you’re taught to believe in as a child. That if you believe in something long enough and hard enough, it will come true. But as you grow up you realize that it was fantasy. You can’t make something happen just because you believe in it, you can’t get what you want or what you need simply by praying long enough and hard enough for it.
And there’s something completely terrifying about that realization. There’s no make believe, there’s no magical fix, there’s no 11th hour hail mary pass to save the day.
There’s life.
There are the highest highs, the lowest lows and everything in between.
And all we can do is survive the hard parts and celebrate the easy ones. And learn from these experiences, challenges and triumphs. So that next time they won’t surprise or scare us. So that next time we can look to reality instead of fantasy to find hope for tomorrow.
8 Responses to “Hope for tomorrow”
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Welcome! I'm Katie, a 28 year old, full-time graduate student who just happened to have brain surgery in November of 2007 to give my ginormous brain a little more space. This blog chronicles my daily life, from relentless headaches to being a doctor's wife. Sit down, get comfortable and stay for a while.
How odd…we were just discussing the same thing at Seder. I wonder why there are no longer miracles such as was seen in the old testament. Is it really a matter of faith or wishful thinking. I don’t have an answer but I tend to lean on the side of wishful thinking and interpretation. I feel bad for that boy…I hope he gets medical treatment quickly.
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I don’t think I believe in miracles either. At least not the way that a lot of people seem to believe in them.
I once had a conversation about faith with my mom, sort of similar to this, and she said, “People forget that when they ask God for something, the answer could be yes, no, or not right now.” I kind of love that.
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I don’t believe in miracles, either, in the sense that I don’t think praying for something over and over is going to get you anywhere. I inwardly cringe when someone says, “I’ll pray for you,” or “We just have to pray,” when something is going wrong. I believe that positive thoughts can sometimes make a difference, but mainly because that person knows you are thinking of them.
This is why I can’t believe in any god or follow any religion. Most religions are built on prayer, where you’re supposed to pray to whatever god and s/he will make it all better. It doesn’t work that way, it doesn’t happen, and that’s why I stay religion- and godless.
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I get frustrated too when people mix the words “prayer” and “miracle” in the same sentence.
I also get frustrated when people of faith (and I am a person of faith myself) tell me that they have had a vision that my son is healed.
Nobody gets healed of VHL.
I have to think about this illness as simply his road to travel, and I have to remember that living in stability is a miracle itself.
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i have to say, i hope miracles do happen…but i think it’s wrong to try to depend on them. miracles, by definition, would be few and far between and would not be something that happens all the time, if it were, then it wouldn’t be a miracle.
i like to believe that good thoughts help…if only to make those that know you’re thinking of them feel better that someone is thinking of them…
and with that…know that your friends are thinking of you…
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Well, I’ve never personally experienced a miracle, but I’ve been blessed enough to feel the “Hand of God”. I believe my prayers are always answered. I may not receive the outcome I request in my communications but even this evening, I felt healing that didn’t involve medicine. Not a miracle in scope or measure, but confirmation that I don’t have to struggle alone. I haven’t received the outcome I pray for you Katie, but I know He’s heard all of us.
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Very interesting conversation Katie. I’m not sure what I believe or don’t believe. You made me think. I hope that if miracles do happen…I hope one comes your way.
xoxomaureen
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I’m not a religious person, really, but your Santa metaphor got me thinking. Like with prayer, the kid is so disappointed that the fat bearded guy doesn’t actually come through the fireplace, but it takes until they’re a grown-up to see that the really great thing was that their parents were there, every year, to give them great gifts and make sure the day was special anyway. Maybe we’re missing the point.
Anyway, I hate the idea that people are walking away. I barely know you, but feel only that I’d like to know you better, which I guess is why I’m reading here.
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