Saw Ree
It is somewhat widely known that I am a tremendous smart ass. I enjoy plays on words, I say “that’s what she said” waaaay too often and some most of my knee jerk reactions are snarky ones. I can’t help it. I was raised on sarcasm. I then married it and will give the gift of it to my kids.
You’re all welcome.
But what you may not know is that for every bit as snarky as I am, I’m also overly apologetic.
It’s like I’m Canadian.
Case in point: Twitter. It one of my best forums for snark. I can dish it, I can take it, but in the end, I have to apologize. I always worry that in one of the jokes that seemed harmless, I’ve said something offensive, and especially if the person doesn’t respond after a comment that I think is borderline, I freak out. My preferred method of apologizing is direct messaging, but sometimes I’ll do it on the main twitter stream.
I do it in real life too. If I think there’s ANY chance I’ve crossed even a tiny line, I apologize. If I tell a joke or when joking around call someone a name, I always apologize. When my husband and I get into a fight, I almost always find something to apologize for, even when it’s totally his fault. When I get into a heated, but civil, political conversation, I apologize, even if I haven’t done anything but politely stated my opinion.
I. can’t. help. myself.
It all really boils down to a greater fear of imperfection and of hurting other people, but what it ends up looking like is that I’m basically just a big apology whore. Or apology addict. Or apology monger. However you want to see it, I have an addiction to apologizing.
I think it borders on compulsion. If I’m being honest I really want to apologize for the Canadian joke at the beginning of this post because I’m afraid I’ve offended the Canadians. I wish I was kidding.
I even revised my position on poutin (don’t google it, GAG) this morning on twitter because I originally said it was gross and was afraid that was too harsh. Revising, one step up from apologizing, just in case you were keeping track.
I have no idea what’s wrong with me. But I’m thinking that there are worse additions to have.
I mean, I could be addicted to never apologizing. And then I’d be a man! (Sigh. Sorry to all the men. That was harsh.) I could be addicted to apologizing and never meaning it. And then I’d be my douchebag ex-boyfriend! (Again, sorry. Even though he is a douchebag.)
Above all else, know that if I have offended you and not apologized, it’s probably because I haven’t realized it yet, or I’m in the process of finding a way to make a proper apology. Or possibly, it’s because you’re an asshole and I’m not actually sorry. One of those is probably what’s going on.
(Sorry for calling you an asshole. Unless you are. And then I’m only a little sorry because name calling isn’t really very nice. Even if I am calling you what you are.)
12 Responses to “Saw Ree”
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Welcome! I'm Katie, a 28 year old, full-time graduate student who just happened to have brain surgery in November of 2007 to give my ginormous brain a little more space. This blog chronicles my daily life, from relentless headaches to being a doctor's wife. Sit down, get comfortable and stay for a while.
Are you kidding me? Instead of apologizing to anyone about the cheese curds I should be thanking you for giving the gift of Boudin and Cracklins. That conversation was the highlight of my day.
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Oh, I hear ya. I’m the same way – I worry so much about accidentally offending someone. I think it comes from folks I know who don’t think ENOUGH about the people they might be offending.
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I’m the same way when it comes to what I say on Twitter or in my blog. I’m 100% certain that if I say something about breastfeeding that every person who didn’t breastfeed will unfollow me and send me hatemail. It’s hard to read tone from a tweet. Oh well.
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You are funny….sorry.
mo
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I love Katie because she’s crass and snarky and the zingers she slings are the best in the US of A, but she suffers from the same syndrome I do “Cannotafullyembracesarcastictendencynitis”.
It’s sad really. (You’re not sad, the syndrome I made up for this comment is sad. Damnit!)
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I am the same way. I want to live in a world where people don’t get butt hurt over everything but… that is not the world we live in. And something I say to a friend that knows me may be overheard by someone else that gets offended.
I went out with a girlfriend one night to buy a CD. I went to HS with the guy behind the counter. I told him “yeah – you were too cool for me back then” and smile and laughed. The next morning I went back and apologized because it was eating me up!
I hope that you’re feeling better, by the way!
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Katie Reply:
March 22nd, 2010 at 5:08 pm
I find the expression butt hurt hilarious. Just thought you should know.
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I love this…because I could have written it.
I have lost friends because of it.
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This has nothing to do with your post today. BUT…it’s Monday. Three days past Friday. Is your headache better…better than the last seven months of your life? Did the patch take? How are you?
Just really want/need to know. Sorry. Oops! Why am I apologizing for caring?
Awaiting your answer with baited, er, bated?, er, bad breath.
(Congrats on the health care bill passing. I think.)
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You’re right…I shouldn’t have looked up poutine.
Gag me with a spoon. A spoon full of poutine.
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JeannieG Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:30 am
Poutine is an absolutely glorious thing. Don’t know it till you’ve tried.
Your unapologetic Canadian Friend,
Jean
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If you were talking about the food poutine? I always thought it was gross also (the McDonald’s version is probably appalling). Till i had a lighter “version” of it recently and now…i’m all over it like white on rice.
I honestly don’t know where i was going with this comment and will probably apologize for being so weird.
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