This day was made for Xanax
Today is practically the day that God created Xanax for.
First, I have a test tomorrow at 1. A test that, if I fail, I’m quitting school over. If I can’t pass this, then the next 2.5 years are hopeless. It’s on every muscle, nerve, artery and bone of the lower extremity. In case you were wondering, there are a bitch load of all of those. A BITCH LOAD.
Second, I have a lumbar puncture scheduled on Tuesday. Every time I think about it, my stomach flips. Every time I try not to think about it, I think about it some more. And it’s totally freaking me out. I know it’s not that big of a deal, but it is, in my head. And therefore, I freak.
Third, I spent the entire day with a friend studying yesterday. Literally from 9am to 9pm. And then she spent all night last night throwing up. Internet, this does not help my psyche. Not one teeny tiny bit. I need to not vomit for like 4000 reasons I don’t care to elaborate on, the least of which are points 1 and 2 above.
Fourth, Slappy is on his ER month and I’ve seen him, awake, for a total of 2 hours since Friday and will not see him again until Tuesday. And while we’ve gone longer and perhaps this is good because, hello! I’m stressed! And crazy! And crazy stressed! But I miss him.
Fifth, it has been 9 weeks since my head hasn’t hurt.
And just that fifth thing would be more than enough for me right now. But apparently, someone, MISTAKENLY, thinks I can handle more.
I can’t.
6 Responses to “This day was made for Xanax”
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Welcome! I'm Katie, a 28 year old, full-time graduate student who just happened to have brain surgery in November of 2007 to give my ginormous brain a little more space. This blog chronicles my daily life, from relentless headaches to being a doctor's wife. Sit down, get comfortable and stay for a while.
It’s not whether or not you can. And it’s not that I think you should. It’s just that I know you will.
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You can do this. You CAN. The test, the lumbar, the being alone…you CAN DO THIS.
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One step at a time. One minute, one hour, one day at a time. You can do it. Just put one foot in front of the other and get it done. At some point, these issues will be addressed, you will be better, and you’ll feel more capable.
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Good luck on your test. Something tells me you will do more than just pass it!
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You. Can. Do. It.
For real, you can. And that no headache thing….well thats just awesome!
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A long time ago when I was facing some of the worst times of my life, I learned to imagine I was seeing life out of the wrong end of a telescope. I was teaching and I would only look at the one period I had in front of me to teach; then I would evaluate and if I felt I couldn’t go on, I’d get a sub and go home. I’d get through that hour and decided I could go one more hour; but if I felt afterward that I couldn’t make the third period, I’d go home. Fortunately, it worked – by noon time the anxiety had leveled out. Of course, I didn’t have a 9 week headache on top of everything, but it really did help to look at only what was immediately in front of me and not the whole damn picture.
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