So while I was at school on Thursday, I learned that hey, Los Angeles has public transportation.  And hey, it passes right by my house.  Who knew?  Considering that I put 4000 miles on my car just this summer, I’ll do just about anything to not spend hours sitting in traffic. And a classmate told me how easy it was, so I decided to give it a go on Friday.

I spent some time Thursday night looking at schedules, writing down meticulous notes for where to find the shuttle from Union Station to USC.  I did not want to get lost. After much obsessing researching I found a train that would get me to school about 20 minutes early and was content to set my alarm for the morning.

I got up and found the train station with relative ease.  I was feeling confident.  So maybe I couldn’t find the ticket machine and paced around what was actually a parking lot looking for it, but otherwise, confident.  Eventually I found the ticket machine and bought a round trip ticket, thinking it was smarter and time saving since I was a little early.

And then I looked at my printed ticket…

I bought my ticket at 7:18.  For a train that would get me to Union Station at 8:20.  So naturally, my round ticket should be utilized by 10:18 that morning.  NATURALLY.  So that was an extra 8 dollars, right down the drain.

But once I had the ticket, I didn’t know what to do with it.  I sort of envisioned a scanning device or a ticket reader.  You know, something to keep us all honest.  It is Los Angeles, it’s not exactly the most honest city in the world.  So when I saw a woman stick a ticket in a machine, I thought I had figured it out.  As the train approached, I went to the machine and put my ticket in.  Nothing happened.

I tried again.  Nothing happened.

Finally, a man boarding the train asked me what I was doing trying to put my train ticket in the parking ticket validation machine. And my only response was to pass out (not really) from embarrassment.  

Seriously.  Who does that?  And to make matters worse, there was a HUGE sign on top that said “Parking Validation.”  There was, quite literally, my sign.

I boarded the train, promptly spilled a third of my Diet Coke on my shirt and then tried to buck up.  After all, it had to get better from here.

The train arrived at Union Station and I followed the sign and found the USC shuttle, exactly where it was supposed to be.  I boarded the surprisingly full shuttle and had a momentary thought of asking if the shuttle was going to the health science campus, but decided to not be such a planning freak.  After all, the shuttle was exactly where it was supposed to be, if a few minutes late for its 8:20 departure, why on earth should I worry unnecessarily?

And so we started off.  And then we got on the freeway.  And look, I’m pretty directionally challenged, but I know that we didn’t need to get on that freeway to get to school.  My stomach sank.

I used my iPhone and mapped the directions from Union Station to campus and then looked at our moving dot.  Our moving dot that was headed exactly the wrong direction.  Holy shit.  I was on the way to the WRONG campus.

Eventually we got to the main campus and just as the bus was getting ready to leave there for God knows where, I saw a classmate.  The very one who told me about how easy the train was.  Oh, the irony.

She and I found our way to the intercampus shuttle and arrived at school at 9:30.  Just 30 minutes late for orientation.  And of course, we showed up in the middle of the lecture on “professional behavior” because, why not.  I mean really.

So don’t judge me if I leave for school a little excessively early tomorrow.  It’s not that I think the same thing will happen tomorrow (because from now on I’ll be asking the shuttle driver where they’re going, even if the bus is clearly labeled), but it’s me, and there’s just no way of knowing what stupid shit will happen next.

Share this on

6 Responses to “The Train Traveler’s Fail”