That about sums up today, it’s not Friday and as such, I’m having an impossible time finding a redeeming quality about the day.
So, before each unit test for 3 of my 5 classes, I play a review game using a powerpoint program that works like Jeopardy. Sometimes there’s a slight lag and if you’re watching really carefully, you can catch the right answer. And since it’s done on a timer, the first team to get the answer right gets the point. Silly me, I thought that the opportunity to see the answer, and then cheat, was too small, or that if it was noticeable, someone would tell me.
Instead, this morning I discovered that all 3 of these classes are cheating to get the bonus points offered for being the winning team. These are the only bonus points I give out and they’re cheating to get them, not learning, cheating. And these games take me easily an hour a piece to put together, and it’s all for them, I get nothing out of it. And not only are they cheating, but once they figured out how to cheat, they told others, so instead of one small group of people, it’s at least 20 kids.
I’m just disappointed. I thought better of them and I foolishly trusted them. I know it’s not like cheating on a test, but it’s cheating on something that I spent a lot of time on, something that was meant to be fun and useful for studying. And that’s really upsetting.
To make matters worse, I talked with some of the other teachers about it at lunch, expecting some sort of sentiment of sympathy and instead I was told that it was my fault and that I had no right to be upset about it. Furthermore, I shouldn’t talk to the kids about it, I should just go on like normal. One of them told me I was “being ridiculous.” And yea, maybe it’s not the end of the world, but it’s big to me and I think I get to decide when I am and am not allowed to be upset about something. 20 of my students breeching my trust is a big deal. Maybe not to them, but to me it is.
And I just couldn’t shake that conversation. I was upset about the cheating and then I was upset about the teachers, who are really some of my good friends. I was nearly in tears by the end of lunch and excused myself early to try and calm down before the next class.
I also have had a wicked headache since, um, Sunday and now today I have a 2 spots on my face, one just below the right side of my lips and one just above, that are tingling all. the. time. Like pins and needles, only ON MY FACE.
And I just want to lie in a small hole and cry myself to sleep, but, oh right! I have another fucking test tomorrow. Yes it’s the last one, but it’s also the biggest one, and it’s also the one I’ve done the least amount of work for because 6 tests in 9 days is way too effing many.
I’m just ready for this week to die. To die a horrible, painful death. Instead, it has 2 more days which will involve studying, avoiding co-workers, stern lectures to students and, unless this face thing stops tonight, a call to the neurologist.
Someone stop this week, I want the hell off.