I understand completely about your feelings as I go through this every April 9th when I read my mother’s death certificate of 04/09/1968 that says cause of death CVA due to collapsed circulatory system secondary to nicotine abuse. Who loses their mother at 13 without warning? I am bitter. I have never touched a cigarette because of that. I wouldn’t want to cause the pain to anyone that was caused to me by ignorance in the 60′s. If you smoke today, then you’re aware of the risks and are signing your own death certificate. My mom didn’t know as she, too, was told it would help with her nerves. We know that syndrome today as panic attacks and she did leave that legacy to me and my daughters.

PS I got the 3 page letter on Saturday from the 2nd opinion neurosurgeon and when I recover from what it said, I will email it to you since you’ve been so kind to help us out along the way with your information and knowledge.

I do feel sympathy for people our grandparents’ age who smoke, because the risks weren’t known at the time. However, there is absolutely NO reason for younger people to smoke, and I hate it when they do. Smoking is a filthy, stupid habit.

Thank you for a great post.

My mom was a heavy smoker from the time she was 15 until she had to have bypass surgery to fix clots in her leg at the age of 37. She quit then, but a few years later, we noticed that she’d smell like cigarettes. We never knew if it was because her friends smoked or if she was sneaking out to do so. In 2005, we had proof that she was smoking again. To this day, she denies it, but we (my sister, my father, and I) know that she does so. She uses the excuse that she’s “going to the store” or “going to get gas” or she will pick a fight with us (not so much me anymore, since I moved away) so she can leave to go smoke somewhere.

As of now, we are mum about it because she gets so bitchy if we mention smoking, but the day will come again when she has more medical problems because of it (her blood clots were caused by smoking, and the doctor her warned her that they’d return eventually if she smoked again) and will not be able to hide the fact any longer.

By the way, for people that thing smoking makes you look cool and shit…my mom was beautiful long ago. Now she looks older than her years, has a smoker’s cough, and some of her teeth have fallen out because of her habit.

I feel your pain about losing your grandmother as well. My maternal grandmother died in December. I wasn’t there, I didn’t get to say goodbye, and I feel guilty as all hell about it.