I was tagged a while back to give 6 random things about me, but I couldn’t narrow it down, and well, I really don’t want to study for the GREs. If you only want to read the first 6 and run, then by all means, please do so, but you never know, you might learn something.
1. I have 1 sister and 4 step-sisters. Getting ready on holidays is an estrogen contest.
2. I have a cat. She is gargantuan and named Karma. (Updated: I now have 2. One is a kitten, the other is still hugemongous.)
3. I had braces for 2.5 years, but didn’t get them until I was 17, which made for a super cool first year of college.
4. I’ve never been hospitalized except after brain surgery.
5. I cannot stand to watch other people brush their teeth. Not on television, not in real life. And watching someone swallow toothpaste-spit makes me gag.
6. I love reality tv shows about twins, and triplets and quadruplets etc. But I do not harbor any fantasies about having more than 1 child at a time.
7. I have broken almost 10 bones, but only claim responsibility for like 2.
8. My best friend in elementary school was also a huge bully. She made fun of me all day at school but was nice to me on the weekends, so I stayed friends with her.
9. I have an irrational fear of vomiting.
10. I was proposed to twice, by one man, and I said yes both times.
11. I am petrified of lightning. I had an uncle who died from being struck by lightning and I think that kind of shit runs in my family like cataracts and glaucoma.
12. In high school I had a fungus in my lungs. It was decidedly not awesome.
13. I never had any wisdom teeth, which I am remarkably thankful for. My sister only had 1. We’re just more evolved is all.
14. I haven’t eaten a snickers bar since I was a kid and used to eat 2 a day. I feel like it’s a slippery slope.
15. When I am angry, I clean. Sometimes I think Slappy picks fights just so I’ll tidy things.
16. If I never had to blow dry my hair or put on make up again, I wouldn’t. I am not a girly girl and I rock the wet ponytail look every chance I get.
17. I have seen every episode of Friends, Scrubs, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, and House. I love tv.
18. I won’t see old movies. I’m not sure there’s a rational explanation for this one.
19. I have been in 5 car accidents. 4 while driving, 2 of which totalled my car at the time, none of which were my fault.
20. I am bothered that they always use 7 month old babies for newborns on tv shows and movies. That toddler obviously did not just climb out of anyone’s vagina.
21. I can’t stand BBQ sauce or anything flavored that way. I especially hate sloppy joes. My husband shares this hatred and it just makes me love him a little more.
22. I hate all squash-type foods. It’s a texture thing.
23. When I was 5, I saw a cow birthed at the fair and I asked my mom if it was always that bloody. She said yes. I said, I think I’ll adopt.
24. I’ve never held a gun, and I strive to go my whole life without ever wielding one.
25. I read really quickly, but mostly because I skip a lot of words. I’m a skimmer.
26. I can’t go to sleep if it’s quiet. I put a tv show on each nigh to listen to as I fall asleep. When I was a kid it was cassette tapes from disney movies. I subsequently know every lyric to every animated disney movie from before about 1992.
27. I am a terrible speller. If Safari didn’t have spellcheck, you probably wouldn’t be able to read most of what I write.
28. I talk to myself in the car when I drive. Chances are, if I’m planning on meeting you or talking to you, I’ve probably rehearsed the conversation with myself while I drive. Because I am kind of a freak. And I’m always afraid that I’ll accidentally dial someone on my cell phone and they’ll hear my imaginary conversation.
30. I am petrified of being fired from a job. Any job. Even one I dislike.
31. I am frighteningly coordinated on crutches.
32. The longest my hair has ever been is about halfway down my back (like to the top of my bra clasp) and that was before my neurosurgeon took a bic to the bottom 1/3 of it. Most of my childhood it was a pixie cut and I was often mistaken for a boy.
33. I don’t like ice cream.
34. I am VERY easily embarrassed. I get embarrassed on other peoples’ behalf and I, generally speaking, hate being the center of attention.
35. I have never smoked a cigarette, nor done any drugs, though I have a prescription for opiates.
36. The misuse of two/too/to and they’re/there/their bugs the crap out of me. It’s just not that difficult to remember when to use which one.
37. My attention span is very short. It’s taken me, um, like 2 weeks to write this list.
38. I have won 5 different pie and cake contests. One contest I won 1st, 2nd and 3rd places. There were a lot of angry old women.
39. I hate, with a deep burning passion, anything Mayonnaise related. Conversely, I love mustard. As a kid I used to eat slices of cheddar cheese with dots of mustard on them. I really don’t know how I came to have weight problems.
40. When I speak publicly, my ears turn bright red.
42. When I was a kid I wrote everything backwards. Letters, words and sentences. My 1st grade teacher was convinced I was gifted and tried to get me tested.
43. I am never happier than when close to the ocean. And I think people who call the edge of a lake “the beach” are totally kidding themselves.
44. I love country music. Except Toby Keith. He’s like nails on a chalkboard.
45. Speaking of which, I cannot stand the sight or feel of chalk and chalkboards. Which has made teaching a unique challenge. This one time, the chalk got really short and I accidentally just wrote with my fingernails on the board instead of the chalk. And then I died.
46. I was a very overweight kid/adolescent, and an anorexic co-ed. But I have never ever made myself throw up to lose weight. See #9 for explanation.
47. I hate feet. I don’t know why, but I don’t want them anywhere near me ever. Even clean ones. I can’t imagine how anyone could ever give another person a pedicure. I always feel like apologizing when I get one.
48. I also cannot stand having a lump or fold in my socks. So much so that if I don’t have to wear socks, I won’t. Flip flops should be appropriate work shoes.
49. I hate the smell of sponges.
50. I got my first grade lower than a B in college. And I have never worked harder for a grade than I did for that stupid C+.
51. I am ambidextrous with all things except scissors.
52. I’ve had pneumonia 6 times that I can remember.
53. I have an abnormally deep bellybutton. Some say it has it’s own gravitational force. They usually get hit when they say that.
54. I pick my lips. I don’t know why, but it always increases when I’m stressed out or nervous.
55. I never saw New Orleans pre-Katrina. Despite the fact that I’ve been a resident for 2 years now and embrace it as my home, I have no idea what it was before August 29th, 2005. I had a plane ticket for September 1st, 2005, but my flight got cancelled.
56. I can sleep in an MRI tube. And if you’ve ever had your forehead taped to a backboard with the metal coil closed over your face and then been stuck in a trashcan while someone beat it with a metal rod, you’d understand what an accomplishment this is.
57. When I was in the 5th grade, I memorized pi to the 50th decimal place for extra credit.
58. I don’t like crawfish from the shell. In fact, I don’t like any food where I can clearly define its head/eyes right before I consume it.
59. The college I attended was smaller than my high school. Everyone knew everyone, it was sometimes a little creepy.
60. I can’t make the pig oinking sound. But I also can’t resist trying. Slappy constantly makes the noise at me because he knows that if I hear it, I must try to imitate it. Usually ends up with me gagging.
61. When I go to the fair, I like to try to pet the bunnies, but the only way to get at them is from the bottom, so usually, I just end up touching rabbit crap. And you’d think after 25 years I’d learn a lesson here. But they’re so damn cute I need to pet them.
62. If I could only shop at one clothing store for the rest of my life, it would be Ann Taylor, if for no reason than because she sizes everything so nicely that I walk out feeling like a supermodel. A very very broke supermodel.
63. I hate vacuuming with a deep burning passion. Which is why we have a roomba, which is undoubtedly the best invention of all time.
64. I used to have a cat named “The Mama Kitty”
65. I also had a dog named Fluffy and by the time she was put down (and for about the 3 years before that) she was almost entirely hairless.
66. I only got sent to a principal/dean’s office once in my entire school experience. And I swear to you, it was the only time I knowingly broke a school rule.
67. I don’t really like butter. I don’t believe it should be the defining flavor in any food.
68. The first concert I ever attended was Huey Lewis and the News, followed shortly by New Kids on the Block.
69. I don’t get why everyone finds the number 69 hilarious. I mean, I understand it, but it always felt like such a juvenile joke, even when I was a juvenile. And also a nerd, just in case that wasn’t clear.
70. When I watch sporting events, I start to think that I am actually a secretly awesome athlete. God help all of you who have to be around me during the Olympics.
71. I hate milk. I hate the smell, taste, and look of milk. And I firmly believe it was because I was forced to drink a glass every night with dinner. And despite this, I will probably inflict the same torture on my kids.
72. I always wanted to marry a guy with blue eyes. Imagine my wonderment when I found Slappy and his crystal blue eyes.
73. I don’t look anything like my biological sister. The woman that did our makeup for the wedding said she’d never met a set of sisters with more extremely different facial characteristics.
74. I’m not a morning person. Slappy has a hard time understanding the no-talking-before-9-am rule and he breaks it often. It’s not pretty.
75. My favorite cereal is Quaker Oat Squares. It’s the smallest box in the cereal aisle and never sells for less than $4.50.
76. I am a horrible photographer. I am envious of all the bloggers who can take pictures and capture beautiful lights/moments/scenery. I’m the one who takes a picture and somehow always ends up in it. Usually my finger, or my reflection in a window. It’s a genetic thing. My grandmother was the worst photographer of all time.
77. In a heated argument, I lose control over my ability to be human and have to have the last word. Sometimes it seems so right that I work with teenagers.
78. If I could survive without taking pills, I would. Some days it really weighs me down to think about how reliant I am on pharmaceuticals to be a functioning human. But I’d rather be a functioning human on prescription medications than a nonfunctioning non-pill taker.
79. I once drank so much that I blacked out. At my professor’s house. And then I (apparently, I have no memory of this) gave direction to the cab driver in Greek (I was in Greece at the time) and got us all safely home. And then was hung over for 2 days and gave up drinking. 2 weeks before my 21st birthday.
80. I once sang/rapped Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” at a karaoke bar. Athens was my alcohol experimentation period. It resulted in a lot of embarrassment.
81. I had no voice for 6 full weeks after the Eminem karaoke experience. It was as if it was important that the mortification live on through my cracking voice.
82. I still sleep with my baby blanket. Not because I can’t sleep without it, but because I don’t want to.
83. I have been sexually assaulted. And I didn’t report it.
84. I did ballet and tap dancing for 14 years. Though if my mother would have let me, I’d have quit after about 4.
85. I can change out of a wet bathing suit into ballet tights and leotards while driving. Or at least I used to be able to, twice a week, always when it was dark outside, if that makes you feel any better.
86. I have jumped off a 10 meter diving platform. If you ever want to do this make sure you keep your feet together when you hit the water.
87. I don’t like coffee, which I think is entirely because it’s not sweet enough.
88. I can’t tell the difference between sour and bitter. I did one of those bitter paper tests and apparently I lack those tastebuds altogether.
89. I’ve dissected frogs, fetal pigs, cats and sheep hearts and eyes and the only thing that grossed me out was the stomach contents of the cat. Just ain’t right.
90. I cannot hear the word “rectum” without immediately thinking, “damn near killed him.” And without giggling because, hi, I’m 10.
91. I took the SATs 3 times, but didn’t actually study between tests. I think I just assumed that in taking the test repeatedly I’d learn how to do it better. Not surprisingly my last 2 scores were exactly the same.
92. I didn’t see snow for the first time until I was 12. And I didn’t actually see snow falling from the sky until I was 16.
93. I was told by a college professor that I was the worst writer she’d ever encountered. I really kind of want to email her and tell her that I’ve found great happiness through my crappy writing and that she can (metaphorically) suck it.
94. Despite growing up in California, I hate all Californian football teams.
95. I am a terrible secret keeper, but I don’t pretend otherwise. Don’t tell me something that you don’t want someone else to know eventually. I’m pretty good about finding someone completely removed from the situation to tell, but I always tell. It’s a sickness.
96. I can make a clover shape with my tongue.
97. I had my last 6 baby teeth pulled out by the dentist. Despite the fact that I was 14 at the time, the toothfairy gave me 5 bucks for each. Score.
98. I am allergic to eggs, some seafood, iodine and everything that grows outside.
99. I’m so damned glad I have this blog I can’t really explain it. Every single one of the 436 posts prior to this has been a piece of my life. Every post, every comment and every connection has meant something to me.
100. I am happier right now in my life than I have ever been before.