Four score and almost 2 weeks ago, I got married, and in a few days, I will begin posting a little bit each day about the wedding day, as well as details about the honeymoon, with great emphasis on the fact that both of them were absolutely fabulous. There were snafus here and there (and most of them are humorous, I must say), but aside from the events of the last afternoon on Maui, I wouldn’t change any of it. I had planned to do this series of wedding/honeymoon blogs starting the day we got back from Hawaii, but, well, life intervened and I won’t be able to just yet. I spent some time considering what to do regarding pictures and have decided to unmask myself officially (in non-staph pictures no less) since I’m no longer teaching. I still have a job that requires a certain amount of professionalism, but I doubt many of the people I’ll encounter there will read here, and I’m just not willing to deprive y’all of wedding pictures.
In other news, we have purchased new computers and are very fortunate in that when we upgraded to the newer operating system earlier this year, we backed up our computers on a hard drive. Using a program we’ll be able to literally load our old computers onto the new ones. There will be a few things here and there that are lost (like the surfing pictures, which I was on the fence about sharing, but am bummed about not having any proof of my surfing ability), but for the most part, we’ll have ourselves functioning somewhat normally again soon. Also, Apple was running a promotion where you get a free iPod touch with the purchase of a MacBook (which is what we got), so we were able to replace our iPods free of charge. Free is a really good thing right now. Really really good.
We do not have any debit or credit cards (had to cancel them all because the information was stored on the computer) and that’s making life remarkably difficult. Thankfully we have money in the bank, but we can only access it by going in person, into the bank, to make withdrawals. This is particularly complicated in situations like tomorrow when the bank will be closed, we have 37 dollars and have to find a way to get gas to drive to Los Angeles and eat at least one meal. It can be done, it’s just very laborious and stressful.
My body seems to not be loving the stress, or perhaps the lack of sleep, or both. In the past 2 days I’ve gotten around 9 hours of sleep, have been withdrawing from a drug and have been running around like a crazy person trying to right myself in a number of ways. I am now the proud owner of a wicked sore throat and a constant headache, which I think is just my immune system taking a breather. I can’t blame it, but at the same time, having a cold right now is not my favorite thing. And in case you were curious, my boob is not at all improved. It’s not closed up, it’s not dried up, it’s not cleared up and I don’t go to the doctor for another 10 days or so.
There are certainly good things going on, but to be perfectly honest with you, being robbed in Hawaii has changed a lot for me. It shook my sense of security to a deep level. Knowing how quickly our personal space was violated just jolted me into a reality I had not been in before. I have never had anything stolen, I have never had my home or car or any other possession violated by someone, so this is foreign to me, which I suppose is probably a good thing. Right now one of my greatest concerns is that whoever broke into our car and stole our things now has my name, address, phone number, and a key to my home (the locks are going to be changed soon). This person can access so much without any effort and that scares the bejesus out of me. This nightmare for me, at least mentally, is far from over.
I know this seems dramatic because we weren’t held up at gun point, we weren’t injured or in danger, but there’s a fundamental trust in other human beings that has been devastated for me. I am afraid to leave anything in my car, or my house for that matter. I’m petrified of the next thing that’s going to go wrong, the next wrong turn or mistake that leads to a similar situation. I’m plagued by the guilt of this, and I want more than anything to move past it. I’m hoping that a change of scenery, getting back to my home, my bed, my cat, my normal life and then starting the next phase of it for reals (you know, as in not staying in our parents’ houses) will help shake some of this away. If I never see any of the things that were stolen again, I will survive, I will be fine without them. But I know that I have lost a carefree innocence and a trust in other people that may not be recovered for a long time, if ever.
I appreciate you all sticking around and supporting me and I want you to know that I fully intend to get past this, talk about all the wonderfulness of the past 2 weeks and move on with my life. If you’ll bear with me just a few more days, I’m going to try my best to get back to some semblance of normalcy, even if it’s only a facade. Even a facade of normalcy would be awesome at this point.
Thank you again and I’ll hopefully begin the wedding posts Monday.