About three months ago, I sent Eli to preschool in pull ups and with a bag of pull ups because we’d gotten a note that we needed to send more diapers. I told the front office that this was entirely because our diaper shipment wasn’t coming for 2 more days and we were out of regular diapers and these were all we had, NOT because we were potty training (though we always told them it was fine to let him sit on the potty), but somehow the message didn’t trickle down to the afternoon teacher.
Since Eli was wearing pull ups, that afternoon when all the kids got up from nap and went potty she sent Eli with them. And somehow, my child who had asked to sit on potties a THOUSAND times and never produced any output, peed. He did it two more times that afternoon before I picked him up and twice more at home. I was totally shocked.
And ill prepared. I had a newborn and no desire to potty train. And so we waited. Eli continued to request to use the potty all the time and I obliged whenever possible. There were days where he would stay dry literally all day long completely of his own desire, without me asking him if he wanted to go at all. There was literally never a child more ready to be potty trained and never parents with less of a desire. But finally we had a free weekend and we decided it was time to do it. To actually potty train. To seize the moment and his interest and get it over with. His preschool teachers were thrilled, we were terrified.
And so, we potty trained.
The first thing I learned in this adventure was that anyone who says having two kids in diapers is harder than having one newly potty trained and one in diapers is a lying liar. Even a kid who is ready to be potty trained still requires very, very close monitoring all damn day. And when you don’t closely monitor them, sometimes they sit down and pee in the side storage compartment of the lego table. TWICE. And as I have learned from his hilarious attempts at independence, even seemingly simple potty tasks like putting on one’s own underwear require parental assistance.
It’s been almost two months and he’s doing fabulously. He literally has had 2 accidents at home in 8 weeks and has been accident free at preschool for 3 weeks now.
I think if anything, this experience showed me that Eli continues to be Eli. He has always been a kid on his own timeline. We tried to transition him to a crib in his own room when he was 6 months old and it was a 4 month long nightmare. When he was ready and when in a setting he liked (a mattress on the floor), he not only slept, but slept through the night for the first real time and never looked back. We tried to transition him off the bottle at a year and it was awful. Then shortly before 2, he requested a straw cup for milk and not a single bottle has been used since. Every time we try to pick an arbitrary deadline, we fail, but when we listen to Eli, that’s almost never the case.
Truly, Eli has been the perfect first child for us, because he has taught us how to be parents. He helped us understand that there is a time to push and a time to wait and listen for readiness. He doesn’t make the decisions (much to his great frustration), but his readiness is always a factor in our plans.
I always kind of imagined that we’d parent with lines in the sand. Ditch the bottle at 1 year, toddler bed at age two, potty train around 3. But we have quickly learned that picking our parenting style before knowing the child we will parent is ridiculous. I’m not sure who Will will be, but I finally understand that even if I don’t know exactly what to do as a parent, listening to my child will never be the wrong first step.
Today you are three months old! This has been a long month and I feel like you’ve grown and changed so much in such a short time. You have always seemed older than your chronological age, and this month has been no exception.
This month you started making your likes and dislikes known a little better. You still go with the flow so much of the time, but we’re starting to see more of you and less generic infant opinionlessness. You like to be held on your side, not on your back. You like Nuk pups (pacifiers), not Soothies. You greatly prefer my left boob to my right boob. You like the elephant on your floor gym the most and will turn your head to find him whenever we set you down.
This month you’ve also really taken to Hal, your owl blanket. When you’re taking (supervised) naps we give him to you and you love to rub him on your face to fall asleep. It’s so sweet. Someday we’ll let you have him at night. Maybe when we set you free from your swaddle. So not until I have to. You also like to have him in the car and tend to chew on the corners, which is gross, but it makes you really happy.
You attended your first USC football game (homecoming!) this month and while you slept through a big part of it, you seemed to have fun (until the ride home, omg). The other big first was your first Halloween. You were dressed up as a sheep. You ripped 80% of the cotton balls off within like 10 minutes, but you were still really cute.
You started daycare this past week and for the most part you did well. You smile at your teachers and nap pretty well, but of course it only took three days for you to come down with a cold. And oh, you are so pathetic. You sniff and cough and cry and it is heartbreaking. Like, if you could speak and asked for a pony, it would already be here.
I think it’s most sad because when you’re healthy you are simply the best baby. You only get up once a night and then go immediately back to sleep until I wake you up around 7:30am. You take 2-3 hour naps every afternoon. You smile and coo and just let us mess with your schedule and drag you everywhere. And all the while you’re just so happy to be there. If there’s someone there to smile at you, everything is great.
That is, until 7pmish. You still have pretty significant witching hours, where only mom will do. Your dad and I went out to a fancy dinner for his work last weekend and you stayed with Aunt Claire and Grandma T and you were NOT a happy camper. I think the combination of it being nighttime, them trying to make you drink out of bottles and your mom being gone was a perfect storm of sad. You survived, but you were displeased.
Your likes this month include: mom, dad, aunt Claire, the cats, Nuk pacifiers, Hal, milk (left boob > right boob > bottle), baths, your swing, snuggling.
Your dislikes this month include: gas, boogers, vaccines, car rides when you’re hungry, being hungry in general, when your brother screams.
My first day back to work I didn’t cry at drop off. I stayed strong, but all day I ached for you. I wanted to hold you and feed you and see your smile and it was so tough to play with other kids when all I wanted to do was play with you instead. I finally got to pick you up at 5pm, loaded you in the car and burst into tears. I missed you so very much, I can barely even put it into words. It was like I was incomplete all day and when I finally got you back I was just overcome with it all.
You are just such a delight and people stop all the time to tell me how sweet or cute you are. And they’re right. You are just the best. I joke that you’re the best baby, but truly, I cannot imagine an easier or typically happier little dude. I feel so incredibly lucky that you’re mine. I still can’t believe that the toughest part of having 2 young kids isn’t having a 3 month old. Your brother, at least on some level, loves you very much, by the way. And I hope that someday having the two of you close together will be as big of a blessing as it can be a struggle these days.
I have a feeling that this next month will be another big month of change. You’re very close to rolling, very close to laughing and will be getting into a routine with daycare. Every single day I wake up and I’m just so happy I get to play with and love you and your brother.
Happy 3 months William. We love you so much and can’t wait to see what next month brings.
Today Eli is two and a half. I think of all the aging milestones so far, this is the one that snuck up the fastest. We went to look at a preschool last week (in the city we’ll be moving to this summer) and I realized that Eli only has two more school years until kindergarten and my heart about exploded. My first baby. Except he’s not a baby anymore, not at all. He’s got long, thin legs and speaks in sentences. He’s out of diapers and wears shoes with laces. He’s shed his last few vestiges of babyhood and all that remains is boy.
Two has been such a completely unique experience. It seemed like his development from baby to one year old was seamless, no major differences, just a linear progression of his personality. Nothing about two is linear. One day he is the easiest dude, following directions, easing from one activity to the next. And the next day, you see this flicker in his eyes that seems to say, today I’m going to make things difficult. And he is EXCELLENT at making things difficult when he wants to.
But even on his most difficult days, he’s still just the coolest kid ever. He is polite to a fault, through very little encouragement on our part. He’ll be choking on water and will try to say “excuse me” every time he coughs, even though he’s literally choking. He says please and thank you without prompting even when throwing a fit, which yep, happens pretty regularly.
He suddenly has preferences and they’re strong. He only wants to listen to certain songs or play with certain toys. Only wants to color with specific colors. It’s like he’s awake now, no longer just doing what we ask or recommend, but what he really wants. And he has an independent streak at least a mile wide. Our bedtime routine now involves him helping with every step, which has resulted in just a tremendous amount of wasting of lotion, hair products and toothpaste.
While he is still a sensitive and occasionally worried toddler, his fears have become fewer and more logical. He doesn’t like loud noises and can now tell you exactly what’s bothering him. A few weeks ago he got panicked and looked at me and said, “I scared!” and I asked him what he was scared of and he thought for a minute and said, “I scared of the choo choo train!” We were right next to the train tracks and it was loud and it just seemed like such a grown up expression and awareness. The vacuum is still is nemesis, but hell, the same could be said for me.
While he is very verbal and mostly comprehensible, we’ve hit the pronoun confusion stage and I have to admit that it might be my favorite thing. He fell off a chair at Disneyland and a lady asked if he was okay and he looked at her and said, “I bonked your head!” His new thing is to walk around in my high heels (often naked) and he’ll yell, “I like your new shoes!” while walking around. It’s great and hilarious. Or it is right until he yells “I wanna clean your butt” in public. It’s a little less great in those situations.
At times I want to freeze the clock and keep him this age forever because he’s just so incredibly fun and at other times I can’t wait to see who he’s going to be at 3 and 4 and 30. I am so fortunate to spend my days with this kid and I can’t believe how fast 2 and a half years have gone. I can’t believe how much he’s changed and yet how his head still fits perfectly on my shoulder and how his hands, though much larger, still look just like they did the day he was born.
It’s still surprising how much my love for him grows and how having William hasn’t zapped up any of the love I had for Eli. It’s as though my heart doubled. There are days where I look at my two boys and I am just floored. How did I get so incredibly lucky? I’ll never know the answer to that, but I am grateful each day for them and that I get to be their mom.
They say the halves are harder than the whole, but as for me, I can’t wait to see what 2.5 has in store for us.
Yes, it’s been 5 days since Halloween, but frankly, I’m impressed with myself for being even this timely. It’s not that William can’t be put down, he actually does fine with it, it’s that I go back to work next week so I don’t want to put him down for even a second. And typing, for me at least, really requires 2 hands.
Anyway, a few months ago, we asked Eli what he wanted to be for Halloween. Unsurprisingly, his response was “I nuh know.” (I don’t know) So we started suggesting things. All responses were met with a no and finally we gave up letting him have an opinion. We knew he would need something he could recognize and without any uncomfortable parts. Plus, we wanted Will’s costume to fit with Eli’s.
Finally, I had a stroke of brilliance. Well, one that you’d only understand if you watched the How to Train your Dragon movies, which we have, about 1089834587 times. And so Eli was Toothless, the dragon from HTTYD and Will was a sheep. For those who haven’t seen the movies, the dragons eat the sheep in the original and play games with them in the sequel. We were amused. Both boys’ hats are from Etsy, as was Eli’s costume. I made Will’s and he destroyed it in about an hour.
Also, Eli was not going to have a black nose, but after Addie (who went as Minnie Mouse) and Aunt Claire (who wore a Mickey Mouse t-shirt) colored theirs, Eli announced it was his turn and I couldn’t turn down his very reasonable request.
Good times were had by all and Eli has asked to go “trick or treaty” about 200 times since Friday. Can’t wait until next year!
We went to Disneyland on Sunday and about halfway through the day, we sat down for a snack (fine, ice cream, we sat down for ice cream). Eli got into a chair and sat down on his knees and when I went to push the chair in, he started to fall. Notably this was the second (of THREE) falls from chairs that day (gravity, man) and I did what any mom would do- I lunged to catch him.
I got his arm, saved him from a head on concrete situation though his butt made pretty good contact and as soon as he remembered there was ice cream to be had he was totally fine. But then I realized my mistake. While I saved Eli, I completely mashed William, who was in a carrier on my front, against a metal chair. He cried and cried (but is fine) and I felt absolutely terrible.
And before I carry on, just let me say how much I love having two kids. Love love love. But…
That moment at Disneyland, to me, is a great picture of having two kids. Not feeling terrible, but feeling like you sacrifice one for the other A LOT. Eli is newly potty trained (more on that another time) which means that Will gets put down a hundred times a day so I can assist the pulling pants back up and butt wiping that has to be done. William is a ridiculously refluxy baby and I have to disengage from Eli not just to feed William and change his diapers, but to change his clothes 3-5 times a day so he doesn’t smell like puke all day. It’s just, at this age, there are very few times where I can satisfy the needs and wants of both at the same time.
And the guilt, oh man, the guilt is crazy. I know both boys are fine, this doesn’t keep me up at night or anything, but I do feel badly about things a lot. They are clothed and fed and have all their basic needs met, but it’s the extra stuff I used to be able to do that I can’t anymore.
Like last night, all Eli wanted was for me to go outside and play with him. And I really, really wanted to. But Will was overtired and hungry and then I had to start dinner. So I kept having to put Eli off. I got Will down, I did a little dinner prep then I played outside for 2 minutes before Will’s eyes peeled open and he started crying.
Will Eli remember I didn’t play outside with him one time or will William remember that I mashed him against a chair? Of course not. And that is hugely comforting to me, I just hate the idea that either of them feels like the other is more important.
It’s a tough balance. We survive each day with minimal difficulty. Everyone goes to bed having done all the things that need to be done and usually relatively happy, but I often feel like I’ve run an emotional marathon, even on days when we barely leave our pajamas or stay in the house all day. I know the boys will probably both be better off for having to learn some self-sufficiency and for having each other, it’s just tough in the mean time.
I love these boys so very much and I feel beyond lucky all the time, not just to have two kids, but to have these two kids. These two wonderful boys of mine. I know that the guilt will diminish over time (at least to an extent) and that things will get easier. I just know this is a part of parenting I wasn’t expecting and maybe by writing it out someone else will be better prepared, or if we have another child (waaaaaaay down the road) I can look back and see that we’ve done this before.
Today you are 2 months old! Ever since you were a few days old, I have felt like you were older than your chronological age and the feeling has only increased as time has gone on. Yesterday we participated in a developmental study and the researcher commented that you looked and acted older than 2 months in every way possible and it was nice to know that other people see it too. You are so grown, yet so small.
You are a delight. I can’t underscore this enough. You are just the most pleasant little person on this planet. You sleep like a champ (except yesterday when you decided that napping was just not necessary, but notably you were pleasant about it), you smile, you coo. You’re just an exceptional type of baby and I am persistently baffled by how easy you are.
I decided to transition you out of your Rock n Play because your head is getting a little flat on one side (note: not the RnP’s fault, it’s just something I can fix easier in other sleeping settings) and I was scared because your brother’s transition was a 4 month nightmare. But you were like, huh, okay, this is different. I guess I’ll just sleep here instead. I mean, you startled off and on and your hands were basically doing their own Bob Fosse production for half the night, but you slept anyway. That’s just one example, but it’s basically how you are about everything.
This month you seemed to really wake up. You smile pretty regularly now and it overtakes your whole face and is pretty much the greatest thing ever. It is impossible to not smile back at you. You coo and happily grunt when you see your dad or me, which is also a pretty great feeling. And I get special happy noises before you nurse. It makes me feel so important in some small way, and it’s great.
Speaking of nursing, you continue to be an eater. You’re getting efficient enough that we don’t spend hours nursing, but you still want to eat pretty much constantly from 7-10pm and get pretty outraged when there is not sufficient supply to do that. You took your first bottle this month and you weren’t a big fan, but you drank all 2oz. And then nursed again afterwards. As a celebration, I assume. At 2 months you’re 13 pounds, which is a solid 2 pounds bigger than your brother. You have adorable chubby thighs and rolls and I didn’t even know I could make a chubby baby, but I could eat you alive.
Your likes this month include: Mom, dad, aunt Claire (she is the baby whisperer), eating, the swing, the floor gym, your own reflection and eating.
Your dislikes this month include: the car seat unless it’s in motion, the stroller unless it’s in motion, being put down or handed to your dad between 7 and 10pm. That’s about it.
I always imagined having 2 children would be persistently difficult, and there are very difficult moments, but by and large, it’s just not nearly as challenging as I imagined. And it’s because you are just the sweetest, most easy going baby. You are happy to sleep, to play on the floor, to be held or rocked, to sit with someone or just whatever we need you to do in the moment. You go with the flow without a fuss. I do often feel guilty that you don’t get the one-on-one attention that your brother got, but I suppose that’s the nature of being the second born.
I return to work in just under 4 weeks and I am so sad. We’ve had quiet Tuesdays and Thursdays while Eli is at preschool and I realized that once I return to work, I won’t get alone time with you any more. Not to mention that we’ll go from never having been apart to spending 24+ hours apart each week. I know it’s good for both of us in a lot of ways and I know it needs to happen since we prefer to have money to put food on the table, but I will miss you tremendously. I’m already dreading it.
These past 2 months have been some of the best of my entire life. You have been a bright light in our lives and I cannot imagine a day without you. I found that when Eli was a baby, I wanted time to slow down because I wanted to savor each moment and stage. But with you, I want time to speed up because I’m so excited for all the amazing things you’re going to do. I’m so excited to really know you, to find out who you’re going to be, what you’re going to be like. And more than anything else, I’m excited to spend the rest of my life as your mother. You are a gift and I am just the luckiest person for having you.
Happy 2 months, William. We love you so very much and can’t wait to see what next month brings.
Everything that’s old is new again.
4 weeks from today, I return to work. I don’t particularly want to talk about this because I am devastated about it and there’s nothing I can do to stop the days from passing, but it is happening. And at that time, Will needs to be in daycare. Eli’s preschool situation is great, all sorted out and it seemed for one bright shining moment like Will’s was going to be simple.
My work is moving to a new location and it happens to be in the same parking lot as a daycare. Perfect right? Well, not as perfect as I want it to be.
We’ll call the place next to my work Daycare A. While Daycare A does have space for Will and they are licensed for babies his age, I’m just not sure it’s where I want to send my baby. The space for the infants is small. Like, really small. And that small space will be shared with 7 other kids (for 2 adults to watch), which would be totally fine if all the babies were Will’s age. But they’re not. Daycare A’s infant room goes up to 18 months. I’m concerned that the room is small enough that Will won’t be able to play on the floor without kids falling all over him and the germ sharing seems not just inevitable as it would be in any daycare, but in this space, I cannot imagine that he won’t catch every single bug that any of the other kids brings in.
They have a separate sleeping room with a door connected to the play room, which is fine and well, though no one would be able to see Will easily if he was having difficulties (he has a tendency to spit up A LOT while laying down) and he would have to go into full on hysterics before anyone would know he was awake. Also, while I was visiting, all three of the kids were in “containers” (swing, bouncer, high chair), which I can totally understand because I don’t know how any one person takes care of 3 young kids alone, but it’s not really so much what I want. Also, the person watching the kids was in her early 20s and had pink hair, which cool. I’m just saying. Daycare A is older and dark and basically my first impression was not great.
So, after looking at Daycare A, I decided to look at another option. It’s 3.5 miles away from my work, which translates to a roughly 10 minute drive. Don’t worry, there will be a map.
We will call this Daycare B. Daycare B is run by a major daycare corporation with branches all over the place. They have “curriculum” for the infants, they do tummy time and floor time and art and all that from a very young age. They have a huge, giant, clean, bright play area, separated from an open eating area, separated from an open and easily visible sleeping area. The kids who were at Daycare B when I visited were playing and eating and it was quiet and delightful. Also, the two women who work in the infant room are older and do this for a living. Each has been with this company for over 10 years. The children transition at 14 months, or once they are proficient walkers (so they don’t get trampled in the toddler room).
Now, Daycare A and B cost the same, like, within 4 dollars a month of each other (which, side note: holy shit licensed daycare for infants is INSANELY expensive.). They both provide food once baby is on solid foods, they both provide linens for the bed and both will accommodate a wedge for Will’s crib.
To further complicate matters, there is a secret option Daycare C, which is the same daycare center as Daycare B, but located close to my house, and I’m including it because geography is a huge part of my debate.
If Daycare A and B were equally close/far from my work, I’d pick B in a heartbeat, without a second thought, it’s that much nicer and I feel that much more comfortable with it. But they’re not equally close. At Daycare A I could go nurse Will during a break without missing a beat, it’s literally 25 feet away. I could visit him throughout the day if I wanted. At Daycare B I could go nurse on my lunch break, but it would involve 20 minutes in the car. Daycare B is also kind of a pain in the ass for drop off, but it’s doable. Daycare C has that advantage as it’s super close to home, but is then far from work and I couldn’t go visit during the day if I wanted to unless I had at least 90 minutes to burn.
So, here’s a map. It’s drawn relatively to scale-ish.
There is a freeway onramp close to Eli’s school, which I didn’t include. Most of the driving once Eli is dropped off is on the freeway, though I had some side street options if needed.
Basically, if I used Daycare C, I’d drop off Will, then drop off Eli, then drive to work. If I used Daycare B, I’d drop Eli off, then drop Will off, then go to work. Daycare B is one freeway exit from my work, though I think side streets are actually faster.
And that’s it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to prioritize. I don’t know if I’m downgrading Daycare A purely because it’s not as new and shiny as Daycare B, or if my concerns (space, age and quality of providers) is legitimate. I am waaaaaay too emotionally ramped up to be logical. So. Thoughts?
If it was your 12 week old baby, and cost isn’t a factor, which daycare would you go with, and why?
This is a post about breastfeeding. If that’s not your thing for any reason (like it you don’t like the word nipple, because I use that word way too many times), you’ll want to skip this. I promise it’s not sanctimonious or anything like that, it’s just very boob heavy.
So, quick recap for those who are new-ish here. When Eli was born, he wouldn’t nurse. I mean, absolutely wouldn’t. He didn’t eat until he was 24 hours old and the lactation consultant gave him formula through tubing on her finger. He latched one time without a nipple shield when he was a week old in the LC’s office and then never again. We had some very limited success with the nipple shield, but he’d nurse for over an hour then scream hysterically until he got a bottle. And then I’d pump and 20 minutes later we’d start all over again. So between the marathon shield nursing and still having to pump, it was too much for me. At 5 weeks, I quit trying to nurse and exclusively pumped and supplemented as needed with formula. I was insufferably whiny about it, cried a lot and did it for all the wrong reasons. I vowed that wouldn’t be the case this time and thankfully, it hasn’t.
When Will was about 10 minutes old, I attempted to get him to breastfeed. I had a lot of negative memories about the nursing process and was really apprehensive, but to my surprise and relief, he latched immediately, just like the nurses said he would. It was the weirdest feeling on earth. I can’t even describe it. It wasn’t comfortable, but the relief I felt that he could and would do it, was unbelievable. Within about 2 minutes I realized that for as much effort as I put into Eli’s eating, I had no idea how to breastfeed.
That first night, all Will wanted to do was eat. Eli had slept almost entirely through the first night, despite our attempts to wake and feed him, so we were completely shocked when Will didn’t. That was just the first of about 10 million times Will taught us that hey, not every baby is the same. Anyway, he nursed almost continuously for hours and hours until we both fell asleep sitting up in the hospital bed. By the morning, my nipples were cracked and bleeding and I began to dread nursing as much as I wanted to do it. I knew it would be uncomfortable, but I didn’t know it would outright hurt. And the fact that my uterus contracted every time Will latched (for almost a WEEK) made the process even more unpleasant.
My milk came in on the third or fourth day, not all at once like everyone described, but sort of gradually throughout a day. By the fourth day I was literally asking for something to bite down on when he latched because that’s how painful it was. His spit up was laced with blood from the scabs that would break open every time he nursed. If anyone tells you nursing isn’t painful, they are a lying liar. It hurts.
When Will was 5 days old we went to a breastfeeding clinic where a lactation consultant fixed his latch (it wasn’t deep enough and basically I needed to smother him a bit more). And it was like a miracle. It still hurt for him to latch, but the pain went from toe curling and shriek inducing (I literally cried out every time he latched) to just teeth gritting. The next day it hurt a little less and each day got better. By the time the 2 week growth spurt hit, even nursing for 4 hours was only mildly uncomfortable (and exhausting).
After 2 weeks, I started trying to nurse out of the house. Once again, it was much more stressful than I imagined. I think I had this idealized version of nursing where it was easy and natural and simple and though it can be all those things eventually, it isn’t that way at first. There’s not a lot of space at tables at restaurants for your arms and the baby. There’s nothing to support the baby on your lap except your arms, which you need to get things lined up. The blanket fell down repeatedly (we now use a cover with a neck strap and my life has changed). The baby latched and unlatched a hundred times and milk got everywhere. There were times where I really wished I could just pull out a bottle and feed him that way.
As with most things, it really has gotten easier with time. Will is a voracious eater- he’s up to 11lb 4oz at 6.5 weeks and is gaining almost a pound each week (for comparison, Eli was 10lb 14oz at 2 months…). I never made enough milk pumping for Eli and supplemented from the very first week, but somehow I’m keeping up with Will and he’s not yet had a drop of anything other than breast milk. While I’m not one of those militant breastfeeders who quote studies all day long, Eli and I both caught a miserable cold and Will escaped it (not for a lack of the toddler coughing on everything), so the breastmilk must be doing something.
And, as much as I didn’t want it to be true before, there is something kind of unique and special about nursing. I don’t want to imply that you can’t bond with a bottle fed baby because that’s not true at all. Eli and I bonded very well over his bottles. But there’s something about being the only person that can provide what is wanted/needed that is very different and admittedly, really cool. Will is happiest when he’s eating (though he is a very content baby) and feeling his little body relax as he latches and eats is just the sweetest thing in the world.
So. That’s a thousand words to basically say that hey, nursing is hard and it hurts at first, but we’re doing it! It’s working! I’m enjoying it! And also, in case you wondered, every baby is different.